Long Distance and Harsh Words

Hello, friends. This post is rather atypical of what I usually write about. But I thought it was very relevant in our associations with people on the Internet--particularly in a social setting.. In a roundabout way, this would apply to communicating with other writers, agents and publishers. I thought it was important because I see so much of it.

Drawing a comparison to penpals and dating sites: 

So you found somebody you like on the Internet. That other person likes you. You just started something wonderful that excites and fulfills you. You might even develop a symbiotic love for each other. A man might be searching for that electronic girl friend. You know, a cyber cutie--an email female--that pixel princess? A woman might be looking for that goofy Gmail guy, that Internet intellectual, that cuddly computer hunk.  

   

Why is it that we can say the meanest and most cruel things to each other in Internet emails? Words that sting, doubt, question, threaten, accuse, belittle--name your poison. It's because we think we can spout off and avoid any confrontation. We don’t need to own our words. We are detached. Even phone calls to potential mates can become heated and cause disagreements, ending in short or long-term rejection. The calamity can happen quickly, unexpectedly. It can happen as a result of a simple miscommunication. A few words interpreted the wrong way can start a firestorm of anger and hatred. You can commit a word-slip and hurt someone’s feelings without knowing it.

  

People always look for the best in others regardless of most circumstances. All human beings seek peace—they all want shelter, sustenance, good health and a loving family. These are universal expectations and truths that every human being on this planet strives for. We are all connected, like an umbilical cord that has not been severed. Like a mother and baby, we can feed off each other and attain the nourishment of life. The more we feed, the more we grow.

    

Here’s a surprise: people deal with each other exceptionally well face-to-face. They are too busy scoping out characteristics and admiring the presence of another, hopefully, attractive human being. They are polite and respectful, and desirous of learning and becoming close to the other person. They oft times want to share and travel. They are curious about the wonders of life’s nature and feel comforted when they search out the wonders together. BTW, nature is a prime magnet for discovery. Wonder and discovery brings people together in such an innocent vein. 

  

People don't do so good when they are physically detached from each other. There is a massive hole in the relationship. The love and respect core is missing.  

Contra wise, there is a certain thrill upon meeting your virtual friend. It is the last step in the process of coming together, and it is necessary. It is crucial. True, unconditional love cannot flourish unless two bodies meet and merge in a slow and mutual relationship. People can read magical compatibility in the eyes of another. The eyes never lie. Without meeting in the flesh, you are blind and unaware of spiritual truth. “What God has brought together, let no man separate.” That means a physical union, friends. And guess what? Two souls can merge into each other and plug up some very big holes.

     

My suggestion to all of you on the electronic air waves is to be kind, understanding and tolerant of your friend/friends, even though they might raise the bristles on the back of your neck. If things begin to break down because of suspicion and mistrust, stop right there and discuss the problem honestly and out in the open with gentle, soothing, kind words. Discussion is the triage for minor differences. Or would you prefer a major trauma when things have gotten too far out of hand? The choice is yours.

  

If you don't confront your differences in good spirits, you might lose the potential love or friend of your life. Try laughter and jokes to salve some of your disagreements. Humor takes the edge off and delivers some needed comedy relief...Or else? Or else you might end up needlessly heartbroken and alone. Learn to forgive and heal. Redemption is a precious commodity that everyone can afford. It costs nothing to put love first over mistrust and negativity. Remember the song: “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative”, theme from Blast to the Past.  Yeah, corny.

Live easy and love hard.

Chris, aka Triceratops @ AW