Great Opener? Or Have You Slammed the Door?

 I have countless first chapters that are absolute messes--info dumps, character dumps, needless exposition--no mention of plot, By-the-way-Bob dialogue, etc. Gak. No wonder I"ve been asked over the years to flash back or rewrite the beginning. Great openers? Hell I've slammed the door on agents and editors, more times than I can say, "This author bores the hell out of me and I'm only on page three." It took me a long time to understand what was meant by a good opening sentence, paragraph, first page or chapter. But hell, they're all related because one segment-bit leads into another. 


For the longest time I thought that opening a first scene/pages with explosions, chase scenes, gunfire, a murder or other physical movement examples of mayhem and disorder, were the order of the day. I thought this is what agents and publishers meant by creating a hook. Not so. A hook, or more precisely for this article, a good beginning, comes in many forms and techniques. Reading a lot of openings in good books, books that have been praised for great pace and reader enthusiasm, will show you the broad strokes of compelling writing out of the gate. What have I learned?


An example of an interesting opening that contains no action:


"Tilly Breedlove never thought she would end up in an institution like this and hear her father utter such dreadful, embarrassing words across a counter top.


“I’m Reginald Breedlove, and I have an appointment for the last stage of the program. I’m here to pawn my daughter.”


I’m here to pawn my daughter. Tilly knew they had another word for it, because she and her girlfriends used to laugh at the K-Span commercial spots on late night Holoview. She wasn’t laughing now. She’d never seen so many kids gathered in one spot, except at a school assembly.


The first floor of the auditorium-sized building had at least twenty standing lines and a waiting area filled to capacity. Sure, there were sniffles and tearful goodbyes, with an occasional knock-down-drag-out, but the worst scenes were reserved for the six to twelve-year-old kids, the next wing over. Those kids were on the Daffodil Plan, commonly called, Daffy’s, and their screams pierced through the air conditioning vents."
 
 A few people asked me via PM where that quote came from. It's from my own YA distopian, The Girl They Sold to the Moon. The first four submissions resulted in partials and full requests, or partials that led to fulls. The second submission won the first place grand prize in a novel contest, offering an advance and publication. I refused it and sent the book to my agent--she wants to try the big boys with it.


The beginning (a little further in) shows a very heart-wrenching scene, and portrays a girl totally out of her element--which is a non-action opener. I purposely left it kind of vague so the reader ends up with questions in their mind. If you leave the reader with questions in their mind or scratching their head over something, they're inclined to read on because it has that WTF factor. Question: How has society gotten so bad that the head of a household is legally sanctioned to pawn dependent household members? Question: What year is this--they mention Holograms? Question: Who are the Daffodils, and why are they screaming?


Challenge the reader to ponder (hard), to guess, to unravel, but don't give them enough to solve anything. Trip them up and lead them down a dirt road. If you can do that page after page, you've got them by the literary nads. And that's incredibly challenging. You don't need a gang fight, a murder, gunfire, chase scene, explosions, unbridled emotion, heated dialogue with lots of swear words, or an overly graphic sex scene.


On the other hand, don't try to get too purplely and literary in your first paragraphs. Try and avoid a scene that starts from a basic beginning--like someone waking up, showering, getting in the car and arriving at a point of interest. Place your character right at the point of interest in the first paragraph, and have him/her involved in the first hint of the plot, or conflict, or mystery etc. There is no need to stage or prep your characters and their actions. Go very light on any physical description in the beginning. Physical descriptions can bog you down, cut the pace to a snail's crawl.


Watch out for static openings, where you have characters sitting down for a meal, laying in bed, or discussing things over a drink at a bar. Not bad beginnings if you do them right, but they're incredibly boring if muffed. Involve the character right away, if you can, with some pivotal point or decision. You can even have your character witness something very, very strange and lead the reader on that way. Try to avoid describing the weather or a person's reflection in the mirror--these are cliche and overused. If you have one, make sure it is very relevant to the plot or general storyline. 


I've actually seen openers where the author describes the environment with such detail and beauty, I wanted to know where this place was. He hooked me with a sense of wonder and awe at what his MC was looking at.


I differentiate between a hook and good beginning, in that I think a good hook is more concept oriented. Great beginnings = page turning. Pull the reader a little bit at a time--set one paragraph or scene up for the next. How can you tell if you have a weak beginning? If your partials or first sample pages are getting hosed, you've failed to reel in the reader. And it's uber important if those readers or agents and editors.


Happy trails. Happy beginning trails, that is.


                                                      *                        *                      *


Yes, the obligatory plug. You saw it coming didn't you?
 

Journey Interrupted, from the Planet Janitor series, has just arrived on Kindle and can be had for $.99. This prequel short is 32 pages long and contains artwork crafted by the talented Toni Zhang. Get ready for some tragedy this time; all is not well in the conclusion.

(BTW, now I know what it's like to write one of the Star Trek episodes—it ain't easy)

 http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Journey-Interrupted-ebook/dp/B008I7N4IC/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1342585553&sr=1-5

 

 
 The crew of Planet Janitor Corporation are on the tail end of a salvage mission in the asteroid belt when they encounter a ghost ship. Faced with a volatile substance onboard, the crew race against the clock to commandeer the vessel before it reaches the Exon Refueling Station. What they find on the ship will stress their abilities to the limit, and put their lives in imminent danger.

Journey Interrupted Hits Kindle

Forgive me. Another publishing announcement. They just keep rolling in.

Journey Interrupted, from the Planet Janitor series, has just arrived on Kindle and can be had for $.99. This prequel short is 32 pages long and contains artwork crafted by the talented Toni Zhang. Get ready for some tragedy this time; all is not well in the conclusion.

(BTW, now I know what it's like to write one of the Star Trek episodes—it ain't easy) 

 http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Journey-Interrupted-ebook/dp/B008I7N4IC/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1341692678&sr=1-5

 

 
 

Book Description

Publication Date: July 5, 2012

The crew of Planet Janitor Corporation are on the tail end of a salvage mission in the asteroid belt when they encounter a ghost ship. Faced with a volatile substance onboard, the crew race against the clock to commandeer the vessel before it reaches the Exon Refueling Station. What they find on the ship will stress their abilities to the limit, and put their lives in imminent danger.

---

Product Details

• File Size: 566 KB
• Print Length: 32 pages
• Publisher: Engage SF (July 5, 2012)
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services
• Language: English
• ASIN: B008I7N4IC
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• X-Ray: Not Enabled
• Lending: Enabled
•  Would you like to give feedback on images or tell us about a lower price?

Interview--We Do Write by Dorothy Dreyer

Author Update: Chris Stevenson

Don't you love return guests? So do I! That's why I'm glad to announce that author Chris Stevenson is back to chat with us. He's got a new book coming out, so let's learn more about it.

Welcome back, Chris! Tell us about THE WOLFEN STRAIN. What’s the story about?

Tagline/Hook:

Seth Anson, a lovelorn forest ranger, never thought that he would shoot the first eligible woman he met after his divorce. Nor did he think that he would fall in love with her after nursing her back to health. But he certainly isn’t prepared to find out that she is the result of a DNA cloning experiment gone horribly wrong and, is in fact, a hybrid wolf/human. To complicate matters, she also has no idea of her true identity.

Seth finds out early on that Melina Salinger is a handful. He mistakenly believes that she suffers from hypertrichosis (werewolf syndrome), and that she has escaped from a care facility. She confesses later that she has been confined in an underground missile silo by her geneticist father, Davis Salinger, and the only thing she knows about everyday life has been gleaned from video movies and television. Now she wants to be a normal girl.

It isn’t easy trying to indoctrinate a woman into society who pants, growls and thinks that Emerald City is a real place somewhere over the rainbow. The ritual shavings and skin maintenance are enough to drive him crazy. Moreover, when she goes into a feverish estrus cycle, sex and passion seem like blunt-force trauma.

Just when Seth thinks he has things under control, Melina becomes deathly ill. Her mysterious father shows up to offer aid, and then shockingly confesses that she carries ancient wolf DNA. After recovering, Melina, shamed and traumatized by this knowledge, becomes suicidal and runs away. Only her father left out the part about her other litter mate – a grotesque monster, Romulus, has just broken out of the silo compound. Romulus is bent on finding her for the purpose of mating and will kill anyone who gets in his way.

Seth has to use his skills as a ranger to find Melina in the Wyoming wilderness. He has Romulus out in front of him, the National Guard, the sheriff’s office, a maniac cryptozoologist, and every monster-hunting vigilante in the state hot on his heels. He has to decide if it is guilt that drives him on his quest to find Melina, or that somehow, this wild and beautiful female was destined to be the love of his life.

The Wolfen Strain examines the lurid morality issues that are dealt with in The Island of Doctor Moreau. Yet the predominant theme is that of forbidden love, found in Beauty and the Beast, only with the gender rolls reversed.

How did the idea of the story come to you?

When my second agent went to the BEA a few years back, he did so with the express purpose of asking each editor he met what (exactly) they were looking for as pertains to the next big thing. He made a lot of face to face contact and scribbled voluminous notes. One publisher, the small black and white bird from the Antarctic, replied that they would love to see a new spin on a werewolf tale. My agent queried me and asked if I was up to the task. I said I was, and that I had conditions. The conditions were, that I would not follow the general trope—howlings, full moon, Lycanthropy and silver bullets. If they wanted a unique concept, I would really give it to them. I thought about what Michael Crichton had done with Jurassic Park, and thought about the current Thylacine Project, and how ancient DNA was being processed to resurrect extinct, hybrid animals. So I devised a way to find and reproduce the genome in an ice age dire wolf. But this dire wolf was a man-eater. When the scientist performs the experiment, his protocol serum somehow replicates the human gene, which gives birth to a human/wolf hybrid. In addition, two other litter mates are spawned: a true ice age dire wolf and a grotesque monster. Of course, with this three-pack combination, all hell breaks lose.

Without giving too much away, what's your favorite part of the book?

Melina Salinger is just the strangest female creature that Seth Anson has ever seen. He has a lot of trouble teaching her about ladylike behavior and what is expected of a woman in today's society. The funniest part is when she enters an estrus cycle and chases Seth around the tower room, demanding a mating ritual. He more or less gets raped when she overpowers him. It's an awkward, but memorable scene.

Best time of day to write?

I try to get in a major chunk of writing during the morning hours. That's when I have most of my energy. Then I have to do my farm chores, which might take about three to four hours. I'll come back to the house, shower, and attempt to pull another stint at the keyboard. I steal as much time as I can during the day, and have been known to writer into the late, wee hours of the night and early morning.

Who are your top three favorite characters from books by other authors?

Ethan Fortune, in Alan Dean Foster's book, Icerigger, is a favorite character of mine. He's stranded on an ice world with a race of furry giants, and just can't seem to get with the program, without embarrassing himself or breaking some kind of cultural law. Skua September (from the same book), is the opposite of Ethan—he's brash, reckless and a fighter, who doesn't really care who's cultural laws he steps on. Philo Skinner, from the book, Black Marble, is an unforgettable rogue who schemes his way through every hour of the day, taking advantage of anyone who crosses his path. He's disgusting, smokes three packs of cigarettes a day, and gags so frequently that he cannot speak at times. He cries often, and wonders why life has dealt him such a terrible lot.

Where can we find your new book online?

As of this writing, The Wolfen Strain is not up on Amazon yet. But it will be this month, after June 26^th. You have only to Google it in the Kindle section. A trade paperback will be released two months after the ebook release. You can find it also from the publisher's website here:

http://lachesispublishing.com/

 http://www.bookstrand.com/the-wolfen-strain

ETA: THE WOLFEN STRAIN HAS JUST HIT AMAZON KINDLE AT THE TIME OF THIS NOTATION. FIND IT HERE:

 http://www.amazon.com/The-Wolfen-Strain-ebook/dp/B008G0PE2U/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1341685785&sr=1-4

Thanks for updating us, Chris. Good luck with your new book!

Posted by Dorothy Dreyer 4:56 PM

The Wolfen Strain--Official Release Day!

---

This book has hit some bumps, curves and setbacks along the way, but it's finally made it. So far, it's available on the publisher website and BookStrand. Amazon, of course, is taking their sweet time, but it should be up soon.

I dedicated this book to Michael Crichton for some rather obvious reasons--it's a werewolf tale, but yet it's not. It's a big, complex multiple viewpoint story set in the grandeur of the Wyoming wilderness, a picturesque and beautiful setting.
The concept and origin of the story is best explained in my interview with Dorothy Dreyer on We Do Write:

http://we-do-write.blogspot.com/2012...stevenson.html



Available at:

http://lachesispublishing.com/prodde...heWolfenStrain

http://www.bookstrand.com/the-wolfen-strain

Blurb:
In a remote compound in Wyoming a geneticist created the first female human-wolf hybrid and adopted her as his daughter. When Melina Salinger discovers who and what she really is she escapes her father's domain and sets out into the wilderness—any other life would be better than the one that was forced upon her.

Seth Anson, a ranger stationed at the Wheeler Ridge watchtower, is trying to get over a bitter divorce—working in the majestic Shoshone forest is the only way he knows how to get on with his life. Consequently, he is unprepared for the strange and mysterious woman he accidentally shoots and then must nurse back to health. As Seth and Melina form a close bond that leads to something deeper—they have no idea that the geneticist’s other creation—the result of a DNA cloning experiment gone horribly wrong—is bent on finding Melina and committing a monstrous act.



Tagline/Hook:
Seth Anson, a lovelorn forest ranger, never thought that he would shoot the first eligible woman he met after his divorce. Nor did he think that he would fall in love with her after nursing her back to health. But he certainly isn’t prepared to find out that she is the result of a DNA cloning experiment gone horribly wrong and, is in fact, a hybrid wolf/human. To complicate matters, she also has no idea of her true identity.

Seth finds out early on that Melina Salinger is a handful. He mistakenly believes that she suffers from hypertrichosis (werewolf syndrome), and that she has escaped from a care facility. She confesses later that she has been confined in an underground missile silo by her geneticist father, Davis Salinger, and the only thing she knows about everyday life has been gleaned from video movies and television. Now she wants to be a normal girl.

It isn’t easy trying to indoctrinate a woman into society who pants, growls and thinks that Emerald City is a real place somewhere over the rainbow. The ritual shavings and skin maintenance are enough to drive him crazy. Moreover, when she goes into a feverish estrus cycle, sex and passion seem like blunt-force trauma.
Just when Seth thinks he has things under control, Melina becomes deathly ill. Her mysterious father shows up to offer aid, and then shockingly confesses that she carries ancient wolf DNA. After recovering, Melina, shamed and traumatized by this knowledge, becomes suicidal and runs away. Only her father left out the part about her other littermate – a grotesque monster, Romulus, has just broken out of the silo compound. Romulus is bent on finding her for the purpose of mating and will kill anyone who gets in his way.

Seth has to use his skills as a ranger to find Melina in the Wyoming wilderness. He has Romulus out in front of him, the National Guard, the sheriff’s office, a maniac cryptozoologist, and every monster-hunting vigilante in the state hot on his heels. He has to decide if it is guilt that drives him on his quest to find Melina, or that somehow, this wild and beautiful female was destined to be the love of his life.

The Wolfen Strain examines the lurid morality issues that are dealt with in The Island of Doctor Moreau. Yet the predominant theme is that of forbidden love, found in Beauty and the Beast, only with the gender rolls reversed.


I hope you enjoy this twist on the werewolf tale.

Do You Think You Have a Breakout Novel?

When considering my interpretation of a breakout novel, for this topic I'm referring to a book that is pre-publication and pulling in a lot of interest from either agents or editors. That's why I phrased it, "Do You Think...?" A breakout novel can also be one that immediately takes off in sales, garners voluminous reviews and climbs the best-selling ranks in very short order. That's post-publication. We've seen some of the self-published e-books do this just recently. But what if you're in the beginning of the query stage and, unexpectedly, you are receiving mass requests for partials and fulls, or are drawing contract offers right out of the gate? You just might have a breakout novel on your hands and not know it, or be sitting there in a daze, unable to fathom what's happening. I think I'm going through this right now, and it's a shock if you're not expecting it or prepared for it. And, incidentally, this goes for agent subs to the major houses, but in that case your agent will know precisely what to do if this happens--it usually means a high initial floor bid or an auction.


Let's say you have, in your opinion, a dynamite query letter, a great first chapter (or front pages) hook, and an intriguing story that holds the readers interest from act 1 to act 3. Let's say you also believe that your concept or premise is original, or so damn interesting that is will compel an agent or editor to read on. This pretty much describes all us writers--we really wouldn't put anything out there if we didn't believe in it. And, unfortunately, we are always ready for those inevitable rejections or non-responses, because this is really how most books are processed and rejected. We expect somewhere around a 10 or 15 percent request rate, which is pretty nuch the norm, unless we've really goofed our query and sample pages.


But what if lightning strikes?


What's lightning in this scenario? Let's say you've sent out 10 queries and sample pages, or a synopsis and three chapters, depending upon the guidelines. If you pull six or more requests for additional pages, or fulls from agents or editors, you can bet this might be one of the first signs of a breakout. If your requests come within a few weeks of submission (ignoring standard response times), you can almost guarantee that you have something very special and you've landed in sweet spot, breakout territory. This mass love would also apply to multiple R & R requests. So you sit back and wait for determinations on your full manuscripts. Then in a very short period of time, days or weeks (again, ignoring the standard response times), you're offered representation or contract offers, out of that same 10 original submissions. If you have, say, four or more contract offers out of those 10, you can rest assured that you have a possible breakout novel. The higher the number of offers, the more solid your conviction will be that you have a winner. If, at this time, you are only submitting to publishers, I suggest you drop what you're doing, put all offers on the back burner and immediately seek agent representation. Without being bragadocious, calmly explain to the agent what's happening. Do this by email--don't call--you're not a client. Yet.


The realization of a breakout can happen in a number of ways other than the above. A publisher, or several can advise you to seek agent representation, if you are without one. Several editors or agents can regretfully pass on the manuscript but give you direct, personal referrals to competing houses or agencies. Some agents or editors might ask you for an exclusive, even though they're not known for this procedure. Just remember that your request rates will be very high in the initial query stage, followed by numerous contract offers. The ultimate decision is up to you--who you're going to sign with. At this stage, it's best if you hold out and submit to your dream agents or top 10 publishers.  If you wish to publish with any of the Big Six, you will need an agent.


My indications came a little bit differently, but nevertheless raised my antenna. I sent out about six query packages, or synopsis and chapters. The first response I had was for a full within one week. After the full, the editor asked if I would agree to some major tone changes. He said the premise and hook were outstanding, but he felt a major personality change was needed for the second half of the book. This went back and forth for three weeks until I politely declined. My second response arrived with a request for a full, as did the third and fourth. I'm still waiting on these at the moment. My fifth response came back with a notation that I'd qualified for a YA distopian novel writing contest, sponsored by the publisher. Thirty days later I was notified that I was in contention for the first place, grand prize slot. One week after that, they told me I'd won, and they offered an advance and publication. My sixth response came back after the award announcement, via a publisher, who offered a contract. My submission process lasted about 50 days, and those were the results for six submissions. Truth be told, I tossed all of this positive news at my agent in bits and pieces as I received them. She hadn't even read the book yet, but promised to get on it and get back to me.


If you're experiencing this type of reaction to your initial queries, congratulations are in order! Does this lead to best-sellerdom? That's difficult to project, since this business is so subjective. But it puts you, or you and your agent in the driver's seat, completely in control of your ride to fame or fortune, or at least, in possession of a book that drew a little spark of lightning. One of the questions we always ask ourselves is, "How can I repeat this? How did it happen and can I bottle this formula?" It's hard to answer because so many variables come into play. It's taken me years to narrow it down and guess at the answer. First it lies in the query, that all important intro to your story. And it's there where an editor or agent can discover it before turning a page. It would have to be concept. An original premise that has that OMG factor. Nothing else can pop off the first page of your proposal better than a groundbreaking concept. If it has "high" concept, well the stars your destination.


Good luck, and breakout from the pack!

Gate Walker, a Paranormal Romance, Twisting Time

 TIME FOR A PLUG SHOT ON A LOST AND FORGOTTEN TITLE.


I've neglected this book, my first YA in the paranormal vein, but it has always shown me sales, albeit small ones, every month without fail. It seems harsh for me to let it languish and fall into the cracks of obscurity. I think the story excels on a few levels, in that I explain time travel in great detail, instead of glossing over it. It has an undercurrent of Roman mythology, and I have to say that the character, "Wax Man" , is the most horrific, disgusting and vile antagonist I've ever crafted. I think he makes Freddy Kruger look like a candy striper in comparison. Gate Walker held sixth place for highest ranking publisher's novel, in a field of over 200 books, and for a period of six months.

Gate Walker is listed on Amazon for the blowout price of $.99. 

Here is a five-star review from Aurora that surprised and delighted me:


Gate Walker by Chris Stevenson
Publisher: Lyrical Press, Incorporated
Genre: Action/Adventure, Contemporary, Paranormal, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Age Recommendation: 14+
Length: Full Length (234 pgs)
Rating: 5 suns
Reviewed by Orchid

Don’t drink and drive, especially when traveling the space-time continuum highway.

Avalon Labrador is convicted and sentenced to die for her husband's murder. In a twist of fate, before the sentence can be carried out, an odd priest informs her that she is being given a second chance to right the wrongs of the past. Avalon must die, but before she does, she must also give birth to a part of herself.

Avy Labrador doesn't know what to make of the odd twists life has thrown her way since she turned eighteen. All she knows is that something isn't right and it has to do with the death of her mother and her husband many years ago. As if an odd priest, powers she never knew she had, and a brand new magician boyfriend aren't enough to turn her life upside down, she finds her own life in danger as she tries to solve a crime that happened more than three decades ago and prevent a new one from occurring.

Will Avy accept her fate and learn to become a Gate-Walker in order to clear her mother's name and find the real killer?

An eighteenth birthday should be celebrated, but Avy's party comes to an abrupt end when her Uncle Drake arrives home. First he tells her friends to leave, then he tells Avy she should strike out into the world on her own. He provides her with a large cheque and a letter from her real mother.

Avy is the biological daughter of Avalon who was married to Drake's brother. Avalon was sentenced to death for her husband's murder. Many years and appeals later the execution had to be delayed when it was found Avalon was pregnant. Avy's mother died giving birth to her and no one knew who her father was. Drake and his wife adopted the baby, Avy.

She finds a job with Sebastian, a magician. She enjoys the work and also feels an attraction for Sebastian. The letter convinces Avy of her mother's innocence. Avy is determined to clear her mother's name - but how?

Father Janus, an acquaintance of Sebastian, tells Avy she is a Gate Walker and can travel through time and space. He instructs her to use this ability to find the real murderer and stop more evil happening. Avy's response is total disbelief - then Janus walks through a wall and doubt creeps into her mind.

With the help of Sebastian and Chubby, a prison guard who knew and adored her mother, Avy sets out to learn how to use her new skills and prove her mother's innocence. They also have to keep one step ahead of the mysterious individual who is following their every step.

Gate Walker is a captivating book. Mystery, magic and the paranormal blend together in a perfect mix. The story holds the imagination and although Avy's abilities would not be believed in the world as we know it, between the covers of Gate Walker they seem very natural.

Avy acts much older than her eighteen years, but at times her youth shows through. She uncovers a lot of information about the people who were around at the time of the murder. In the process she also discovers information about her uncle which refers to his illegal activities in the present time.

I would thoroughly recommend this book to fantasy enthusiasts who also like romance. Romance readers would find this story very much to their liking as the paranormal abilities add excitement and intrigue. Young Adults of sixteen years an over would also find this to their liking. Definitely a book I would read again and again - I keep coming back when I really enjoy a book. Well done Chris Stevenson, have you written any more books like this? If so I'd love to read them.

 
 

Fifty Shades of Wuss Up?

This new breakout book by EL James, just acquired by Random House, has gone through a plethora of reactions from readers and writers alike. You can say it has drawn Good, Bad and Ugly comments and feelings from anyone who has been touched by it, or rather, clobbered over the head by it.

The Good:

Fifty Shades originated from a fan fiction site, and was more or less written as kind of a Twilight knockoff, with eventually, the character names and settings, changed to reflect an original work. In this capacity, it has worked very well, first drawing huge numbers of fan fic readers, who read only installment chapters. These teasers work great to hook the curious, and started a word-of-mouth campaign that snowballed into what it has become today. Three books were eventually written, following the relationship and sexual exploits of the main characters, Anastasia and Christian. Large offset print runs and a movie deal have resulted. The author has reached a milestone of fame and fortune. Not bad for an writing career.  It's currently # 1 on Amazon in all formats.

The word is that it has given a certain amount of legitimacy to the erotica market, drawing huge numbers of readers who were curious, familiar with, or actively engaged in the Dom/Sub genre and lifestyle. It defines a certain sect of society who have such sexual fantasies, and the arrival of the trilogy has filled those forbidden or controversial emotions and wants. The numbers indicate that the buying public is composed primarily of women, with about 65 percent of them being females in the 20 to 30 something age range. It can always be said that on the plus side, this book might re-ignite some tepid or worn-out sexual relationships amongst partners or married couples.  That's a decided plus.

More readers, no matter what the subject matter, is great for the industry. The publisher will benefit enormously and no doubt invest in other titles by offering contracts, after having made a huge chunk of change from this phenomenon. If this was a first-read for people who did not or have not read a great deal, it can only spur these readers on to investigate other similar titles or other unrelated books. Anything that can prompt someone to scroll or turn a page cannot be considered a bad thing at all. It's a win-win.

The Bad:

I haven't read the series or even a single book. I have read over 120 reviews and dozens of articles and forum comments. I did read the first free chapter. This book is horrendously crafted as far as grammar, even marginal proofreading, cliches, familiar tropes and structure problems. I cringed after the first paragraphs, where a mirror is used to describe a character's facial features. That's something that we are taught as writers is a big no-no. But the problems keep stacking up, and it would take a professional editor to categorize and list all of its faults. It's just a mess, inferior to the original Twilight, which had its own problems. There is the overwhelming opinion that it has no plot at all--no real conflict/s to support a worthwhile, believable goal. Although the sex starts off well and entices, it generally goes downhill from there and shows nothing new or progressive. It repeats over and over again, as well as the repetitive descriptive passages, emotions and over-the-top physical reactions.  

It seems we're living in a reading age where quality of craftsmanship is second or even third to titillation and raunchy fantasy. Either the readers forgive the lackluster writing ability, are ignoring it completely, or they can't tell the difference between good and bad prose. And that's sad. Straight up, this book would have never made it beyond the fan fic stage if not for its word-of-mouth popularity. Are we now down to an accepted third-grade reading level? Are future generations of new readers going to seek out this type of prose and stick to it, with no intent to up their quality reading level? That's bleak.

How many knockoffs can we expect to see from this knockoff? Are writers, or even people thinking about splashing ink for the first time, going to try their hand at this type of genre and story? Will Fifty Shades be a green light to start a whole new trend, and will it spur fan fic writers to clog the submission boxes of all in sundry in the publishing business? Will this type of writing and story eventually need or draw a literary awards or peer merit? If so, put a knife through my heart and trash my computer. Now. I couldn't bear it.

The Ugly

There's a big fuss about how the author portrayed the lifestyle of the dominant-submissive relationship. Some readers are outright condemning it, proclaiming that it is far off the mark--while others excuse it, or actually believe the explanations and definitions, which could possibly damage a healthy relationship. Personally, and for reasons that I wouldn't like to explain, I'm cringing when I see another book/s show and explore such mentally abusive and inhumane treatment of women. It greatly disturbs me that any woman would subject herself to a relationship that hinges solely upon the wishes of an arrogant, misguided, psychologically damaged male lead. The feminist revolution has just lost decades of advancement and equality for the female populace. "No weak female leads", say the big editors, or "No damsels in distress." they hearken. Yet what we have here are gals that have smothered their own hopes and dreams of constructing and pursuing a meaningful life, and latched onto uber alpha males, who seem destined to make all their lifestyle decisions and choices.

Goodbye strong girls and women. You're nothing without having a man to run your life entirely in every aspect and degree. I blame Twilight for planting this seed in the first place. We might be headed for a heck of a lot more it.

PLUG SHOT: WELCOME TO PLANET JANITOR. YOU WILL BE DISAPOINTED--MY SEX SCENES HAVE BEEN TONED DOWN AND THE ROMANCE IS SWEET. THE READING LEVEL MIGHT BE TOO HIGH FOR YOU, SITTING AT AROUND 5.9 ON THE READER LEVEL INDEX. BUT IF YOU'RE FEELING LUCKY, IT'S HERE:

 http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Custodian-Illustrated-ebook/dp/B004IASH8K/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1330380990&sr=1-2

 
 
 

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Planet Janitor does deliver an interstellar romp that hearkens to the best of Robert Heinlein or Philip José Farmer... A rollicking plot-driven adventure... The dangers are intimidating, the wonders evocative and the thread that ties it all together is always just a little more tangled than it seems." --The Canadian Science Fiction Review, December 13, 2010

"An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

"Stevenson's book considers the possibility of an elite industry of environmental cleanup specialists who take on all sorts of bizarre environmental jobs... Clearly, this is a timely topic that hits home in the wake of the Gulf oil spill." --SF-Fandom, September 21, 2010

From the Publisher

A great deal of care went into the quality of this book, with case laminate library binding, wrap around cover art, and 26 illustrations.   

Self-Published E-Book Riches--How in the Hell?

 Take a look at this list of successful self-published e-book authors. Some of them have POD paperbacks too:


http://ebooktop100.blogspot.com/2012...han-50000.html


I'm damn frustrated. I'm agog, atwitter and absolutely dumbfounded by the number of successful self-published authors who are raking in sacks of money for their e-books. This amounts to more than head-scratching for me--this is a mystery that I can't solve, explain, or even copy or emulate. I'm a damn slave to self-promotion and marketing, and I've used some pretty exceptional resources to get the word out. Just for the past six months I've spent at least three or four hours out of every writing day to create buzz, link, guest blog, field interviews, advertise (free), announce, brag, talk-up, get reviewed, entice and blast my books all over the cyber universe, just up to the point of spamming the world. I've been warned, put on probation and kicked off sites, for this type of enthusiastic, some would say desperate, activity. I AM A SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTER. I am this because no one else is going to do this for me. I don't buy ad space, nor do I have a Big Six publisher or publicity outfit behind me. I won't even spend a dime for a blog tour. I'm not a celebrity, but I'm well-known--this I know from the emails, comments and reviews. And it's taken years of flinging my name and books out there for someone to say, "Yeah, I think I know who you are...I'm sure I've bought from you."

The sales and rank for my latest release are very good, but not top-gun or A list. I'm not self-published in e-book or POD format, but I do have a great small press publisher behind me, adding to the exposure and promotion. My publisher is doing everything humanely possible to raise awareness on this title EVERYWHERE he goes--even the editors and artists blast my title on FB and Twitter. I roughly sell about 30 to 50 books a month, and those are great months. I have to split the proceeds with my publisher, so I'm not pulling in that 35 or 70 percent from the Amazon program. That 's not my beef or frustration. I'm getting slaughtered by just average e-book self publishers, who are claiming anywhere from 200 copies a month on up to thousands. Forget about those big names on the list up there. I'm talking about authors who have recently or just recently listed on Amazon and are claiming very high numbers. And you know what? Their ranks are the proof in the pudding and I check on dozens of them every day. They're not lying. I go to their websites and blogs and see screen shots of their sales. I write to them and pick their brains. Most do not really give me something substantial to chew on, except for the advice and template that I've already followed. They're leaving something out. But what?

Here's the clincher: do you know what's coming from the other side of the fence from the same authors who have also self-published and listed on Amazon? Here's some of the comments I've reproduced, nearly word for word from some blogs and websites:

"Gosh, I'm not selling at all like that."
"I wish I had those numbers, congrats!"
"I've only sold nine books in the last month. How are you doing this?"
"Are you paying for ads somewhere? Is it worth it?"
"That's not been my experience. Got any tips?"

Indeed. Quite a division, isn't there? So what the hell's going on? Aren't you the least bit curious about how some rise to the top almost instantly, and then stay there week after week, month after month, and in some cases, for a couple years? And by God, the others are claiming nothing like those numbers. The first question I ask myself is, "What could I possibly be doing so wrong to reside in the relative sales gutter, while I'm being upstaged by these self-published gunslingers? There have been many of them that claim that they do NO promotion or marketing at all. Some admit to active promo and marketing, and others proclaim they really bust their asses. But strangely, I see a LOT of those authors admitting to little or no self-promotion.

Let's forget "great story" as a reason for high sales--I don't believe this after having read hundreds of sample pages. These books have nothing on any others as far as characters, plot, pace, tone, hook or any other advantage. Trust me on this. Some are very poor quality, wherein some merit exceptional writing. In short, they are no better than commercial published books from the large presses.

Mind you, these books are surpassing even our most treasured best-selling authors, and landing on the NY Times, and other best-selling media lists. Commercial publishers and agents are flocking to pick up some of these authors and, yes, major publishing and movie rights sales have been made.

Paid ads. This could work, but you'd need to place these ads in the best possible locations to reap any kind of response. And paid ads can be VERY expensive. They're not all that useful, and are more hit or miss than anything. I doubt that even the best, most expensive ads could rocket you into bestseller stardom, but I'm willing to bend a little here and entertain the notion that some paid ads have started a few literary careers. 

Let's forget personal popularity--these authors, damn near every one of them (with a few exceptions), were completely unknown to the industry.

Word of mouth? I'll try and explain that a bit further on.

Friends and family? Forget it. Unless they have a direct lineage from Genghis Khan, it is nearly impossible to account for that many sales from relatives or personal contacts and expect word of mouth to carry and perpetuate sales numbers into the stratosphere.

Very low price points? Ah, we've hit on something here that certainly can have a major effect on what's happening. Until you realize that just about every other self-publisher and publishing house has ALSO dropped their prices to experiment and compete. Both my publishers dropped books sales into the $.99 to $2.99 bracket and kept them there. It did help, but it did not, does not, account for extreme sales jumps into the thousands or tens of thousands. It's extraordinary how many $.99 e-books on Amazon I see listed from self-publishers. I'll admit that real cheap books can sell in the truckloads. But if that were true, where are my and your huge sales? Are you priced between $.99 and $2.99? Okay then.

So what's left? There's only one conclusion that I've come to that makes any sense at all. I'll not claim claims, name names or accuse. I don't have any evidence to prove my point. I'll ask that you ride along with me as I extrapolate or give it a hell of a guess. I certainly can't research it--there wouldn't be an author on this planet who would admit to it. But it's the only thing that makes sense.

They're buying their own books.

There I said it. And I don't want to start a flame war. Want to land in the top 100 Amazon bestseller list with an unknown $.99 e-book? Buy a 100 of them (your own book) over a period of a week and I guarantee you'll get there. Want to spend a few more bucks and land in the top 10? Easy, start filling your shopping cart, carefully watch your rank, adjust your purchase timing and keep the book's high rank there yourself. These types of authors, many who've claimed to spend big bucks on cover art, formatting and editing, wouldn't blink an eye while dropping a couple hundred or more to launch their books. Amazon doesn't care if all the purchases come from the same IP address--they're a business and in it to make money.  A conscientious author might enlist a dozen or two dozen friends to crank the sales numbers up by making the purchases, gladly using the author's money. I'm almost positive that a half dozen sales in one day can land you in the top 100, provided the genre is right. Easy peasy.

Yeah, but what happens after the book hits those lofty sales ranks? Then the author runs out of money, so it doesn't mean the book will stay up there in bestseller heaven. It's a flash in the pan--he's had his 15 minutes of fame--it's over in a few or several days. Oh, no. It's just getting started. When you hit the top 100 or 10 Amazon bestsellers list, along with any large media list, the thing this author most likely does is blast that news all over the Internet, to every news corp site, display site, writing and reading group, special organizations, local and national magazines, newspapers and radio stations...you get the picture. That author will start a blog (if he/she doesn't already have one in place), and they'll start threads and posts in the largest groups that you can find on the Internet. Their claim, after all, is legitimate. And timing is everything if they want to pull this off without a glitch.

Once you hit those lofty bestseller lists, you've automatically set yourself up for the best algorithm position Amazon has to offer. You'll be on specialty lists and pages, given priority rank and exposure. Your Amazon publishing page will go nuts--your email box will flood--your popularity on every one of your group sites will manifest tenfold--your comment boxes will fill--and the curious will break down your door, wondering how you've achieved all of this in such a short time. Oh, yes, your sales will go through the roof, especially if you're priced very low, and those purchasers will be comprised of the awestruck curious, eager to read and enjoy this best-selling tale, believing that the popularity of this book lies in its unchallenged, supreme quality. Face it. Everyone on this earth is drawn to a rags to riches story, especially the publishing kind.

Now you have a snowball effect, where this book can achieve perpetual motion. It climbs further, faster and higher, because its initial success (self-purchased copies) was the primer that launched it. It rides its own coattails, growing exponentially. The author need not quit any marketing or promotion, but will probably have to redouble their efforts and find the energy to keep up with this runaway Leviathan. They've created a monster--a wonderful monster. Is this illegal, unethical or deceptive? Nope. It's been done before and there are documented cases where this tactic was used to create a breakout. If my mind serves me, a Publish America author did something like this. So it's been around for a long time. Only now I can see how it really could be put into good use as far as self-published e-books, priced at $.99. Face it, your curiosity is piqued and wagering a dollar on the purchase is not going to bankrupt you.

If you think about it, it's rather quite genius in its simplicity. You fire a live round into an ammo dump (make a mass purchase) and that one round sets off all the other live shells, creating a mass explosion (mass publicity).

Am I on target here? I don't know. Like I said, I don't have the proof. I have nothing more than a nagging gut feeling/suspicion on how some of these authors are busting out with these miraculous sales. I've seen dozens and dozens of these bestsellers habitually post their progress on boards, and its about the progress, stats and numbers, and not about the storyline of the book itself. More sales math than writing meat, and that raises my hackles.

Chris, are you saying that most or all self-published authors are doing this? God send a lightning bolt down upon me, NO. I know of a dozen or so talented authors who have gained notoriety and high sales from their own persistent efforts, and I've read their blogs and exchanged pixels with them. It's the others I can't account for, or understand their jump to fame, and it's that that boggles me. I would expect any author who has done this to launch their careers to keep buttoned up about it, and go to their graves with it. I've just been trying to make sense with something that just doesn't make sense. Perhaps one day, when I'm ready to self-publish, I'll experience my own ride and learn about the "mystical formula"--the formula that can launch me into the stratosphere and confirm my dreams of avarice.

I'd love to hear from anyone, self-published or not, that can punch a hole in my theory or answer this riddle. Am I way off track here, or am I possibly on to something? What else could possibly make sense? I'm not talking about a Joe Konrath here; I'm talking about these unknowns (no fan base) who have eclipsed even him, and shot to stardom.

Anyway, food for thought, wot?

ETA: Comments are not showing up for some reason, and I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe I'll reload.

ETA # 2: Just been informed that Amazon allows only 10 purchases from a credit card as far as books are concerned. Still, could 10 people max out for a writer friend and drive up sales rank?

ETA # 3: I'm starting to regret this post. My guesswork might just be off by a mile. A poster in my group just informed me that Amazon will only allow one book purchase per Kindle device. In other words, you'd have to own 100 Kindles to purchase 100 books?

ETA # 4: How in the heck can any self-published writer game the system? Or is Amazon giving special treatment and extended exposure to their self-published stable of authors? How would they do this?

ETA # 4: After further investigation, it appears that Amazon does indeed give added exposure to new releases on a very high-traffic list location (page/pages). Combined with low price points and free trial periods, the Amazon listings (because of its huge readership), are responsible for some very high upfront sales numbers. Very high sales for new books are quite common within the first week, driving many to the top 100 bestselling list, wherein more exposure is gained. Snappy covers and blurbs account for increased browser purchases, with many, many books sold at the popular $.99 price point. I would venture to say that once the book hits the top 100 list, the authors are using social and commercial media outlets to announce the fact, which is what I expected. I have not heard (yet) if there is anyway to make multiple author purchases, other than claiming lost titles, defective product complaints or dissatisfaction.   

MY SHAMELESS PLUG. I HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANY OF MY OWN BOOKS. I'VE GOT TO RELY ON YOU.  HERE'S MY OFFERING:

Review

"Planet Janitor does deliver an interstellar romp that hearkens to the best of Robert Heinlein or Philip José Farmer... A rollicking plot-driven adventure... The dangers are intimidating, the wonders evocative and the thread that ties it all together is always just a little more tangled than it seems." --The Canadian Science Fiction Review, December 13, 2010

"An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

"Stevenson's book considers the possibility of an elite industry of environmental cleanup specialists who take on all sorts of bizarre environmental jobs... Clearly, this is a timely topic that hits home in the wake of the Gulf oil spill." --SF-Fandom, September 21, 2010

From the Publisher

A great deal of care went into the quality of this book, with case laminate library binding, wrap around cover art, and 26 illustrations.



 

The Plague of Non-responders

There was a time, especially during the hard-mail submission days, when all you had to do was sit back and wait for an agent or editor response. It was almost guaranteed, especially if you provided return postage (SASE), and even in some cases, when you didn't but still received a polite reply or acknowledgment. The waiting times were just about what they are today, anything from a few days or weeks, on up to six months and beyond. Now that we're totally consumed in the cyber-world, where digital communication is instantaneous, you would think that our replies and responses would be plentiful and faster. Not so. Along with every email program comes the convenient but dreaded...

Delete Button.

Email has made it so much easier to send material and queries off into the cyber corn field, never to be seen again and leaving the writer scratching their head and wondering what the hell happened to their submission. We can understand that some agents and publishers admit in their guidelines that they will not be able to respond to queries, and even in some cases, partials or fulls. That's because their in-boxes are flooded with a deluge of queries and submissions every day, week after week, month after month with no letup. The most popular, coveted agents and publishers no doubt bear the brunt of this deluge, so we can understand that--they post it--we're prepared for it and can make notations in our spreadsheets and query tracker forms. But when they list an average response time, for example six to eight weeks, and time flitters away, we wonder if nudging them is the proper thing to do. Thank God there are some agents and publishers that send out acknowledgement receipts, so we know our material has landed safely in their office. It's the non-responders (who claim to be responders) and the vast majority of the others who really piss us-me off.

How long does it take to paste a form rejection into a reply letter and hit send? Apparently too long for many. And yes, we all know and have been taught that no good news still means "No." 

Let's face it, with the amount of the would-be writers on the increase every day, thank you very much, Internet, and the tremendous influx of inquiries and submissions, it's no wonder that the intern or reader behind the desk is hitting the delete button more and more these days. What better way to wipe out your in-box than to read a few lines of the query or synopsis and stab the delete button. This tactic works perfectly in a non-personal world, where the agent or editor holds God-like decision-making powers and the only contact they have with you is through electricity. I've seen this change over the last couple of decades, and today it's worse than ever before. Especially with agents or publishers who have limited staff and time to answer every inquiry that comes their way. What better way to clean house? It wouldn't surprise me in the least if some agents and editors were filling check boxes and performing mass deletes, especially if they were drastically behind schedule or already had their stable or publishing rosters filled.

Just as an example, I sent out 440 query and page packages to agents over a four-month time period. This book had a a huge genre following, thus the incredible number of opportunities. Each email was precisely and personally crafted to each agent, with no forms or pasted material other than the original query or synopsis. I went right to work on my next book, knowing that I was in a long haul for responses. What I wasn't prepared for were the total number of non-sponders who failed to send me anything after one year of waiting. In all, 280 agents never got back to me. This included 12 fulls and 13 partials, which was astounding to me. Fifteen of those were agents who claimed to respond within a certain time period. When I nudged them with an inquiry, five responded with apologies and rejections, and the others never made contact, even after a second nudge and an additional couple of months.

I always allow about a 30 percent addition of time to nudge. In other words if the publisher says to nudge or resubmit after eight weeks, I'll let go for another 18 to 20 days or so, just to give them a little margin. In some cases, if I'm following their blog and they look very busy, I'll up it to 75 percent, or even allow them twice the time needed to get a read. Generally speaking, if it isn't mentioned in their submission guidelines, I'll resubmit or query on a full or partial after the six-month mark. For the very large publishers like Daw, Tor and Baen, I'll let it ride for a year. You can always check Duotrope and Query Tracker for average response times, and resubmit according to the figures you see listed. It really does no good at all to resubmit before any listed response times, or even shortly after. It just makes you look like an impatient amateur. And don't nudge more than twice--this borders on harassment or spam, and it's a good way to get you blocked from their address.

I wish I had some special weapons and tactics to advise you on how to handle non-responders. This part of the industry is devastating to all writers. We have no idea if we've been overlooked, lost in the cyber slush, rejected without any consideration, or rejected because the agent or editor never wants us to blacken their email doors again. It throws us off so badly that we're left with that never ending sense of confusion and wonder that will never be appeased. I can only suggest that you make notations of all non-reponders, particularly the habitual offenders, and place them at the bottom of your submission list. You can strike them altogether, but that will take a hefty chunk out of your submission population. Keep heart--grin and bear it. We can't penalize them--there's no official precedent for it, nor do we have the resources or organization to do so.

But don't every give up on the query process because you're hearing crickets and your email in-box is as blank Napoleon Dynamite's expression. Don't retaliate, claim claims or curse at your adversary. Look at this way, those who showed you the delete door without ever commenting or responding, have probably missed out on a very special book or story, and in the long run, they'll be the worse for it--not you. You'll keep on, and find a home for that story, whereas they will just keep deleting thousands of pages, day after day, week after week, year after year.

FIND OUT HOW THE MANTID ALIENS GENETICALLY ENGINEERED A RACE OF JACK LIONS TO WIPE OUT THE PADDYMOUS GIANTS ON THE PLANET GEORGIAN SIDUS. PLANET JANITOR IS STILL PRICED AT $2.99 ON AMAZON, AND THE SHORT STORY, THE MOON IS NOT ENOUGH, IS STILL FREE FOR THE TAKING.

http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Custodian-Illustrated-ebook/dp/B004IASH8K/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2


 
 "An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

 

Have You Hooked Or Are You Baitless?

At last count I've accumulated about 2,900 rejection slips, both email and hard mail, dating back at least 24 years. We writers agonize over just about every word in these little snippets of rejection death, attempting to decipher some type of meaningful logic out of these one or two-line zingers. Yet even in the form variety, there are a few that stand out over the rest which indicate a more specific problem, and they usually begin with, "I'm afraid I wasn't pulled into the story," or "the front bogged down," or "after a few pages, I wasn't compelled to read any further." Something to that tone, anyway. What we have here is a failure to communicate up front with that all important "hook." 


The hook is that mystical teaser, that draw that pulls the reader into the story, and it usually begins on page one, and really never lets up. You can craft a hook by using dialogue, action, narrative or even description, but the one thing it does is present a unique problem that is not answered immediately, or is a set of circumstances that confounds the reader, asking more questions that it's answering. I think a really great hook uses deceit or subterfuge. It presents a "What the hell's going on here" in the reader's mind, or a "why or how could this be happening?" Setting a good hook, I later learned, is a crafting trick--a tactic. There's nothing artistic about it. Just like a magician uses sleight of hand, so too does the writer create an unfathomable scenario that begs explanation and further reading. Of course, it's wise to take the reader up to the confusion threshold but not beyond it, where incidents and plot seem random or haphazard. There must be a method to your madness, allowing the reader to glimpse that sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. 

I can pontificate all day long about how stunning and fast-paced my second and third acts are, but when I read and interpret those pesky rejection slips, the ones that hint at boring, tepid, stuffy first-page or fist-chapter passages, I know then that I've failed in capturing my reader's attention--he/she will be reluctant to invest further reading time if I cannot CHALLENGE them to unravel a mystery or solve some problem. I've opened the door and invited them to ride along, but they're inclined to pass and let me drive off into the sunset by myself. Back-story is a killer, as is prologues, heavy, multiple character descriptions, uninspired dialogue, weather reports and heavy handed scenery that tries too hard to be literary.

I can have a dynamite query letter, but the editor or agent won't get past page five if I haven't pulled them into the story and forced them to wonder or agonize about something. The hook scene doesn't have to be complicated. (First Page--First Paragraph)--Imagine average Joe Blow pulls over in a picturesque grove of trees, gets out of his car and lights up a cigarette. He's on his way to work but has a few minutes to kill. He happens to notice a church a few hundred yards away and the church parking lot is filling to capacity. The back of the church looks to be occupied with a reception area, filled with chairs, tables, colorful streamers and a small stage. But no one is out there celebrating, meaning that the festivities must still be under way inside. He crushes out his cig butt and happens to look up, being prompted by the sound of a twig snapping in the boughs of a large tree.

He sees a woman in a full wedding gown, balanced precariously on a limb high up in the tree. The woman has a terrified look on her face; she is breathing hard and sweating profusely.

You've just set the hook. You don't have to have this guy figure out exactly what she's doing up there, but we have a pretty good idea. Or do we? We won't really know until the writer let's these two exchange dialogue. But we're not going to do that either. Joe Blow has decided, against his better judgement, to help this woman out. He can sort it out later once he gets her in his car and down the road away from the church. But when it comes time for her to confess her plight, she's evasive. He ends up being late for work, has to call in sick, then gets a phone call from his fiance, wondering if they're still on for their date that night. Now we have conflict, while still nothing has been resolved. And that's what you're doing--leading the reader along, who thinks he/she is on the main storyline highway, but are actually ending up on a lot of dirt roads. I think you get what I'm trying to say. Don't be predictable. Don't underestimate your reader. Shock and surprise.

How important is the hook? It is the most important page or pages of your entire manuscript, and that includes the query and/or synopsis. You've got one chance, one pair of editor/agent eyes to entice, to compel, to convince the reader to keep turning pages. Any lull or stoppage in the text is the mark of death, and it means your bait is inadequate, it stinks of age or it's missing entirely. Does your book really start on chapter 2? Then dump chapter 1. Is Chapter 1 a slough? Then cut and burn out everything that isn't thrusting the plot forward, arousing conflict and asking new questions. Yeah, but Chris, you should read some of these dud first pages in these bestsellers; hardly grabbers. Let those brand name authors craft their books the way they see fit; they're not hurting for readership. Study some of the debut author's works and see if you can't find those subtle hooks--those attention grabbers.

In Planet Janitor, I had a one of the worst chapter openings of all time--heavy character profiles, a boring, meaningless bar scene, no action, and a blatant "By the way, Bob" dialogue sequence that was just excruciating. My publisher suggested I write an entirely new action-paced first chapter, then follow it up with a drastically cut and revised version of the original chapter 1. It was the only way to save it. You can always do a "flash-back", which is exchanging chapter 1 for 2, but this is kind of an old trick that has been used since the printed word, and should be avoided unless there's no other way around it.

SO BAIT THAT HOOK!