Fifty Shades of Wuss Up?

This new breakout book by EL James, just acquired by Random House, has gone through a plethora of reactions from readers and writers alike. You can say it has drawn Good, Bad and Ugly comments and feelings from anyone who has been touched by it, or rather, clobbered over the head by it.

The Good:

Fifty Shades originated from a fan fiction site, and was more or less written as kind of a Twilight knockoff, with eventually, the character names and settings, changed to reflect an original work. In this capacity, it has worked very well, first drawing huge numbers of fan fic readers, who read only installment chapters. These teasers work great to hook the curious, and started a word-of-mouth campaign that snowballed into what it has become today. Three books were eventually written, following the relationship and sexual exploits of the main characters, Anastasia and Christian. Large offset print runs and a movie deal have resulted. The author has reached a milestone of fame and fortune. Not bad for an writing career.  It's currently # 1 on Amazon in all formats.

The word is that it has given a certain amount of legitimacy to the erotica market, drawing huge numbers of readers who were curious, familiar with, or actively engaged in the Dom/Sub genre and lifestyle. It defines a certain sect of society who have such sexual fantasies, and the arrival of the trilogy has filled those forbidden or controversial emotions and wants. The numbers indicate that the buying public is composed primarily of women, with about 65 percent of them being females in the 20 to 30 something age range. It can always be said that on the plus side, this book might re-ignite some tepid or worn-out sexual relationships amongst partners or married couples.  That's a decided plus.

More readers, no matter what the subject matter, is great for the industry. The publisher will benefit enormously and no doubt invest in other titles by offering contracts, after having made a huge chunk of change from this phenomenon. If this was a first-read for people who did not or have not read a great deal, it can only spur these readers on to investigate other similar titles or other unrelated books. Anything that can prompt someone to scroll or turn a page cannot be considered a bad thing at all. It's a win-win.

The Bad:

I haven't read the series or even a single book. I have read over 120 reviews and dozens of articles and forum comments. I did read the first free chapter. This book is horrendously crafted as far as grammar, even marginal proofreading, cliches, familiar tropes and structure problems. I cringed after the first paragraphs, where a mirror is used to describe a character's facial features. That's something that we are taught as writers is a big no-no. But the problems keep stacking up, and it would take a professional editor to categorize and list all of its faults. It's just a mess, inferior to the original Twilight, which had its own problems. There is the overwhelming opinion that it has no plot at all--no real conflict/s to support a worthwhile, believable goal. Although the sex starts off well and entices, it generally goes downhill from there and shows nothing new or progressive. It repeats over and over again, as well as the repetitive descriptive passages, emotions and over-the-top physical reactions.  

It seems we're living in a reading age where quality of craftsmanship is second or even third to titillation and raunchy fantasy. Either the readers forgive the lackluster writing ability, are ignoring it completely, or they can't tell the difference between good and bad prose. And that's sad. Straight up, this book would have never made it beyond the fan fic stage if not for its word-of-mouth popularity. Are we now down to an accepted third-grade reading level? Are future generations of new readers going to seek out this type of prose and stick to it, with no intent to up their quality reading level? That's bleak.

How many knockoffs can we expect to see from this knockoff? Are writers, or even people thinking about splashing ink for the first time, going to try their hand at this type of genre and story? Will Fifty Shades be a green light to start a whole new trend, and will it spur fan fic writers to clog the submission boxes of all in sundry in the publishing business? Will this type of writing and story eventually need or draw a literary awards or peer merit? If so, put a knife through my heart and trash my computer. Now. I couldn't bear it.

The Ugly

There's a big fuss about how the author portrayed the lifestyle of the dominant-submissive relationship. Some readers are outright condemning it, proclaiming that it is far off the mark--while others excuse it, or actually believe the explanations and definitions, which could possibly damage a healthy relationship. Personally, and for reasons that I wouldn't like to explain, I'm cringing when I see another book/s show and explore such mentally abusive and inhumane treatment of women. It greatly disturbs me that any woman would subject herself to a relationship that hinges solely upon the wishes of an arrogant, misguided, psychologically damaged male lead. The feminist revolution has just lost decades of advancement and equality for the female populace. "No weak female leads", say the big editors, or "No damsels in distress." they hearken. Yet what we have here are gals that have smothered their own hopes and dreams of constructing and pursuing a meaningful life, and latched onto uber alpha males, who seem destined to make all their lifestyle decisions and choices.

Goodbye strong girls and women. You're nothing without having a man to run your life entirely in every aspect and degree. I blame Twilight for planting this seed in the first place. We might be headed for a heck of a lot more it.

PLUG SHOT: WELCOME TO PLANET JANITOR. YOU WILL BE DISAPOINTED--MY SEX SCENES HAVE BEEN TONED DOWN AND THE ROMANCE IS SWEET. THE READING LEVEL MIGHT BE TOO HIGH FOR YOU, SITTING AT AROUND 5.9 ON THE READER LEVEL INDEX. BUT IF YOU'RE FEELING LUCKY, IT'S HERE:

 http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Custodian-Illustrated-ebook/dp/B004IASH8K/ref=sr_1_2?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1330380990&sr=1-2

 
 
 

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Planet Janitor does deliver an interstellar romp that hearkens to the best of Robert Heinlein or Philip José Farmer... A rollicking plot-driven adventure... The dangers are intimidating, the wonders evocative and the thread that ties it all together is always just a little more tangled than it seems." --The Canadian Science Fiction Review, December 13, 2010

"An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

"Stevenson's book considers the possibility of an elite industry of environmental cleanup specialists who take on all sorts of bizarre environmental jobs... Clearly, this is a timely topic that hits home in the wake of the Gulf oil spill." --SF-Fandom, September 21, 2010

From the Publisher

A great deal of care went into the quality of this book, with case laminate library binding, wrap around cover art, and 26 illustrations.   

Self-Published E-Book Riches--How in the Hell?

 Take a look at this list of successful self-published e-book authors. Some of them have POD paperbacks too:


http://ebooktop100.blogspot.com/2012...han-50000.html


I'm damn frustrated. I'm agog, atwitter and absolutely dumbfounded by the number of successful self-published authors who are raking in sacks of money for their e-books. This amounts to more than head-scratching for me--this is a mystery that I can't solve, explain, or even copy or emulate. I'm a damn slave to self-promotion and marketing, and I've used some pretty exceptional resources to get the word out. Just for the past six months I've spent at least three or four hours out of every writing day to create buzz, link, guest blog, field interviews, advertise (free), announce, brag, talk-up, get reviewed, entice and blast my books all over the cyber universe, just up to the point of spamming the world. I've been warned, put on probation and kicked off sites, for this type of enthusiastic, some would say desperate, activity. I AM A SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTER. I am this because no one else is going to do this for me. I don't buy ad space, nor do I have a Big Six publisher or publicity outfit behind me. I won't even spend a dime for a blog tour. I'm not a celebrity, but I'm well-known--this I know from the emails, comments and reviews. And it's taken years of flinging my name and books out there for someone to say, "Yeah, I think I know who you are...I'm sure I've bought from you."

The sales and rank for my latest release are very good, but not top-gun or A list. I'm not self-published in e-book or POD format, but I do have a great small press publisher behind me, adding to the exposure and promotion. My publisher is doing everything humanely possible to raise awareness on this title EVERYWHERE he goes--even the editors and artists blast my title on FB and Twitter. I roughly sell about 30 to 50 books a month, and those are great months. I have to split the proceeds with my publisher, so I'm not pulling in that 35 or 70 percent from the Amazon program. That 's not my beef or frustration. I'm getting slaughtered by just average e-book self publishers, who are claiming anywhere from 200 copies a month on up to thousands. Forget about those big names on the list up there. I'm talking about authors who have recently or just recently listed on Amazon and are claiming very high numbers. And you know what? Their ranks are the proof in the pudding and I check on dozens of them every day. They're not lying. I go to their websites and blogs and see screen shots of their sales. I write to them and pick their brains. Most do not really give me something substantial to chew on, except for the advice and template that I've already followed. They're leaving something out. But what?

Here's the clincher: do you know what's coming from the other side of the fence from the same authors who have also self-published and listed on Amazon? Here's some of the comments I've reproduced, nearly word for word from some blogs and websites:

"Gosh, I'm not selling at all like that."
"I wish I had those numbers, congrats!"
"I've only sold nine books in the last month. How are you doing this?"
"Are you paying for ads somewhere? Is it worth it?"
"That's not been my experience. Got any tips?"

Indeed. Quite a division, isn't there? So what the hell's going on? Aren't you the least bit curious about how some rise to the top almost instantly, and then stay there week after week, month after month, and in some cases, for a couple years? And by God, the others are claiming nothing like those numbers. The first question I ask myself is, "What could I possibly be doing so wrong to reside in the relative sales gutter, while I'm being upstaged by these self-published gunslingers? There have been many of them that claim that they do NO promotion or marketing at all. Some admit to active promo and marketing, and others proclaim they really bust their asses. But strangely, I see a LOT of those authors admitting to little or no self-promotion.

Let's forget "great story" as a reason for high sales--I don't believe this after having read hundreds of sample pages. These books have nothing on any others as far as characters, plot, pace, tone, hook or any other advantage. Trust me on this. Some are very poor quality, wherein some merit exceptional writing. In short, they are no better than commercial published books from the large presses.

Mind you, these books are surpassing even our most treasured best-selling authors, and landing on the NY Times, and other best-selling media lists. Commercial publishers and agents are flocking to pick up some of these authors and, yes, major publishing and movie rights sales have been made.

Paid ads. This could work, but you'd need to place these ads in the best possible locations to reap any kind of response. And paid ads can be VERY expensive. They're not all that useful, and are more hit or miss than anything. I doubt that even the best, most expensive ads could rocket you into bestseller stardom, but I'm willing to bend a little here and entertain the notion that some paid ads have started a few literary careers. 

Let's forget personal popularity--these authors, damn near every one of them (with a few exceptions), were completely unknown to the industry.

Word of mouth? I'll try and explain that a bit further on.

Friends and family? Forget it. Unless they have a direct lineage from Genghis Khan, it is nearly impossible to account for that many sales from relatives or personal contacts and expect word of mouth to carry and perpetuate sales numbers into the stratosphere.

Very low price points? Ah, we've hit on something here that certainly can have a major effect on what's happening. Until you realize that just about every other self-publisher and publishing house has ALSO dropped their prices to experiment and compete. Both my publishers dropped books sales into the $.99 to $2.99 bracket and kept them there. It did help, but it did not, does not, account for extreme sales jumps into the thousands or tens of thousands. It's extraordinary how many $.99 e-books on Amazon I see listed from self-publishers. I'll admit that real cheap books can sell in the truckloads. But if that were true, where are my and your huge sales? Are you priced between $.99 and $2.99? Okay then.

So what's left? There's only one conclusion that I've come to that makes any sense at all. I'll not claim claims, name names or accuse. I don't have any evidence to prove my point. I'll ask that you ride along with me as I extrapolate or give it a hell of a guess. I certainly can't research it--there wouldn't be an author on this planet who would admit to it. But it's the only thing that makes sense.

They're buying their own books.

There I said it. And I don't want to start a flame war. Want to land in the top 100 Amazon bestseller list with an unknown $.99 e-book? Buy a 100 of them (your own book) over a period of a week and I guarantee you'll get there. Want to spend a few more bucks and land in the top 10? Easy, start filling your shopping cart, carefully watch your rank, adjust your purchase timing and keep the book's high rank there yourself. These types of authors, many who've claimed to spend big bucks on cover art, formatting and editing, wouldn't blink an eye while dropping a couple hundred or more to launch their books. Amazon doesn't care if all the purchases come from the same IP address--they're a business and in it to make money.  A conscientious author might enlist a dozen or two dozen friends to crank the sales numbers up by making the purchases, gladly using the author's money. I'm almost positive that a half dozen sales in one day can land you in the top 100, provided the genre is right. Easy peasy.

Yeah, but what happens after the book hits those lofty sales ranks? Then the author runs out of money, so it doesn't mean the book will stay up there in bestseller heaven. It's a flash in the pan--he's had his 15 minutes of fame--it's over in a few or several days. Oh, no. It's just getting started. When you hit the top 100 or 10 Amazon bestsellers list, along with any large media list, the thing this author most likely does is blast that news all over the Internet, to every news corp site, display site, writing and reading group, special organizations, local and national magazines, newspapers and radio stations...you get the picture. That author will start a blog (if he/she doesn't already have one in place), and they'll start threads and posts in the largest groups that you can find on the Internet. Their claim, after all, is legitimate. And timing is everything if they want to pull this off without a glitch.

Once you hit those lofty bestseller lists, you've automatically set yourself up for the best algorithm position Amazon has to offer. You'll be on specialty lists and pages, given priority rank and exposure. Your Amazon publishing page will go nuts--your email box will flood--your popularity on every one of your group sites will manifest tenfold--your comment boxes will fill--and the curious will break down your door, wondering how you've achieved all of this in such a short time. Oh, yes, your sales will go through the roof, especially if you're priced very low, and those purchasers will be comprised of the awestruck curious, eager to read and enjoy this best-selling tale, believing that the popularity of this book lies in its unchallenged, supreme quality. Face it. Everyone on this earth is drawn to a rags to riches story, especially the publishing kind.

Now you have a snowball effect, where this book can achieve perpetual motion. It climbs further, faster and higher, because its initial success (self-purchased copies) was the primer that launched it. It rides its own coattails, growing exponentially. The author need not quit any marketing or promotion, but will probably have to redouble their efforts and find the energy to keep up with this runaway Leviathan. They've created a monster--a wonderful monster. Is this illegal, unethical or deceptive? Nope. It's been done before and there are documented cases where this tactic was used to create a breakout. If my mind serves me, a Publish America author did something like this. So it's been around for a long time. Only now I can see how it really could be put into good use as far as self-published e-books, priced at $.99. Face it, your curiosity is piqued and wagering a dollar on the purchase is not going to bankrupt you.

If you think about it, it's rather quite genius in its simplicity. You fire a live round into an ammo dump (make a mass purchase) and that one round sets off all the other live shells, creating a mass explosion (mass publicity).

Am I on target here? I don't know. Like I said, I don't have the proof. I have nothing more than a nagging gut feeling/suspicion on how some of these authors are busting out with these miraculous sales. I've seen dozens and dozens of these bestsellers habitually post their progress on boards, and its about the progress, stats and numbers, and not about the storyline of the book itself. More sales math than writing meat, and that raises my hackles.

Chris, are you saying that most or all self-published authors are doing this? God send a lightning bolt down upon me, NO. I know of a dozen or so talented authors who have gained notoriety and high sales from their own persistent efforts, and I've read their blogs and exchanged pixels with them. It's the others I can't account for, or understand their jump to fame, and it's that that boggles me. I would expect any author who has done this to launch their careers to keep buttoned up about it, and go to their graves with it. I've just been trying to make sense with something that just doesn't make sense. Perhaps one day, when I'm ready to self-publish, I'll experience my own ride and learn about the "mystical formula"--the formula that can launch me into the stratosphere and confirm my dreams of avarice.

I'd love to hear from anyone, self-published or not, that can punch a hole in my theory or answer this riddle. Am I way off track here, or am I possibly on to something? What else could possibly make sense? I'm not talking about a Joe Konrath here; I'm talking about these unknowns (no fan base) who have eclipsed even him, and shot to stardom.

Anyway, food for thought, wot?

ETA: Comments are not showing up for some reason, and I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe I'll reload.

ETA # 2: Just been informed that Amazon allows only 10 purchases from a credit card as far as books are concerned. Still, could 10 people max out for a writer friend and drive up sales rank?

ETA # 3: I'm starting to regret this post. My guesswork might just be off by a mile. A poster in my group just informed me that Amazon will only allow one book purchase per Kindle device. In other words, you'd have to own 100 Kindles to purchase 100 books?

ETA # 4: How in the heck can any self-published writer game the system? Or is Amazon giving special treatment and extended exposure to their self-published stable of authors? How would they do this?

ETA # 4: After further investigation, it appears that Amazon does indeed give added exposure to new releases on a very high-traffic list location (page/pages). Combined with low price points and free trial periods, the Amazon listings (because of its huge readership), are responsible for some very high upfront sales numbers. Very high sales for new books are quite common within the first week, driving many to the top 100 bestselling list, wherein more exposure is gained. Snappy covers and blurbs account for increased browser purchases, with many, many books sold at the popular $.99 price point. I would venture to say that once the book hits the top 100 list, the authors are using social and commercial media outlets to announce the fact, which is what I expected. I have not heard (yet) if there is anyway to make multiple author purchases, other than claiming lost titles, defective product complaints or dissatisfaction.   

MY SHAMELESS PLUG. I HAVEN'T BOUGHT ANY OF MY OWN BOOKS. I'VE GOT TO RELY ON YOU.  HERE'S MY OFFERING:

Review

"Planet Janitor does deliver an interstellar romp that hearkens to the best of Robert Heinlein or Philip José Farmer... A rollicking plot-driven adventure... The dangers are intimidating, the wonders evocative and the thread that ties it all together is always just a little more tangled than it seems." --The Canadian Science Fiction Review, December 13, 2010

"An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

"Stevenson's book considers the possibility of an elite industry of environmental cleanup specialists who take on all sorts of bizarre environmental jobs... Clearly, this is a timely topic that hits home in the wake of the Gulf oil spill." --SF-Fandom, September 21, 2010

From the Publisher

A great deal of care went into the quality of this book, with case laminate library binding, wrap around cover art, and 26 illustrations.



 

The Plague of Non-responders

There was a time, especially during the hard-mail submission days, when all you had to do was sit back and wait for an agent or editor response. It was almost guaranteed, especially if you provided return postage (SASE), and even in some cases, when you didn't but still received a polite reply or acknowledgment. The waiting times were just about what they are today, anything from a few days or weeks, on up to six months and beyond. Now that we're totally consumed in the cyber-world, where digital communication is instantaneous, you would think that our replies and responses would be plentiful and faster. Not so. Along with every email program comes the convenient but dreaded...

Delete Button.

Email has made it so much easier to send material and queries off into the cyber corn field, never to be seen again and leaving the writer scratching their head and wondering what the hell happened to their submission. We can understand that some agents and publishers admit in their guidelines that they will not be able to respond to queries, and even in some cases, partials or fulls. That's because their in-boxes are flooded with a deluge of queries and submissions every day, week after week, month after month with no letup. The most popular, coveted agents and publishers no doubt bear the brunt of this deluge, so we can understand that--they post it--we're prepared for it and can make notations in our spreadsheets and query tracker forms. But when they list an average response time, for example six to eight weeks, and time flitters away, we wonder if nudging them is the proper thing to do. Thank God there are some agents and publishers that send out acknowledgement receipts, so we know our material has landed safely in their office. It's the non-responders (who claim to be responders) and the vast majority of the others who really piss us-me off.

How long does it take to paste a form rejection into a reply letter and hit send? Apparently too long for many. And yes, we all know and have been taught that no good news still means "No." 

Let's face it, with the amount of the would-be writers on the increase every day, thank you very much, Internet, and the tremendous influx of inquiries and submissions, it's no wonder that the intern or reader behind the desk is hitting the delete button more and more these days. What better way to wipe out your in-box than to read a few lines of the query or synopsis and stab the delete button. This tactic works perfectly in a non-personal world, where the agent or editor holds God-like decision-making powers and the only contact they have with you is through electricity. I've seen this change over the last couple of decades, and today it's worse than ever before. Especially with agents or publishers who have limited staff and time to answer every inquiry that comes their way. What better way to clean house? It wouldn't surprise me in the least if some agents and editors were filling check boxes and performing mass deletes, especially if they were drastically behind schedule or already had their stable or publishing rosters filled.

Just as an example, I sent out 440 query and page packages to agents over a four-month time period. This book had a a huge genre following, thus the incredible number of opportunities. Each email was precisely and personally crafted to each agent, with no forms or pasted material other than the original query or synopsis. I went right to work on my next book, knowing that I was in a long haul for responses. What I wasn't prepared for were the total number of non-sponders who failed to send me anything after one year of waiting. In all, 280 agents never got back to me. This included 12 fulls and 13 partials, which was astounding to me. Fifteen of those were agents who claimed to respond within a certain time period. When I nudged them with an inquiry, five responded with apologies and rejections, and the others never made contact, even after a second nudge and an additional couple of months.

I always allow about a 30 percent addition of time to nudge. In other words if the publisher says to nudge or resubmit after eight weeks, I'll let go for another 18 to 20 days or so, just to give them a little margin. In some cases, if I'm following their blog and they look very busy, I'll up it to 75 percent, or even allow them twice the time needed to get a read. Generally speaking, if it isn't mentioned in their submission guidelines, I'll resubmit or query on a full or partial after the six-month mark. For the very large publishers like Daw, Tor and Baen, I'll let it ride for a year. You can always check Duotrope and Query Tracker for average response times, and resubmit according to the figures you see listed. It really does no good at all to resubmit before any listed response times, or even shortly after. It just makes you look like an impatient amateur. And don't nudge more than twice--this borders on harassment or spam, and it's a good way to get you blocked from their address.

I wish I had some special weapons and tactics to advise you on how to handle non-responders. This part of the industry is devastating to all writers. We have no idea if we've been overlooked, lost in the cyber slush, rejected without any consideration, or rejected because the agent or editor never wants us to blacken their email doors again. It throws us off so badly that we're left with that never ending sense of confusion and wonder that will never be appeased. I can only suggest that you make notations of all non-reponders, particularly the habitual offenders, and place them at the bottom of your submission list. You can strike them altogether, but that will take a hefty chunk out of your submission population. Keep heart--grin and bear it. We can't penalize them--there's no official precedent for it, nor do we have the resources or organization to do so.

But don't every give up on the query process because you're hearing crickets and your email in-box is as blank Napoleon Dynamite's expression. Don't retaliate, claim claims or curse at your adversary. Look at this way, those who showed you the delete door without ever commenting or responding, have probably missed out on a very special book or story, and in the long run, they'll be the worse for it--not you. You'll keep on, and find a home for that story, whereas they will just keep deleting thousands of pages, day after day, week after week, year after year.

FIND OUT HOW THE MANTID ALIENS GENETICALLY ENGINEERED A RACE OF JACK LIONS TO WIPE OUT THE PADDYMOUS GIANTS ON THE PLANET GEORGIAN SIDUS. PLANET JANITOR IS STILL PRICED AT $2.99 ON AMAZON, AND THE SHORT STORY, THE MOON IS NOT ENOUGH, IS STILL FREE FOR THE TAKING.

http://www.amazon.com/Planet-Janitor-Custodian-Illustrated-ebook/dp/B004IASH8K/ref=pd_sim_kstore_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2


 
 "An intriguing and exciting cross between Aliens and 10,000 Years B.C. - Stevenson shows us a future filled with proof that we should listen to Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life forms and what they want to do to us." --Gini Koch, author of `Touched by an Alien' & `Alien Tango', December 1, 2010

 

Have You Hooked Or Are You Baitless?

At last count I've accumulated about 2,900 rejection slips, both email and hard mail, dating back at least 24 years. We writers agonize over just about every word in these little snippets of rejection death, attempting to decipher some type of meaningful logic out of these one or two-line zingers. Yet even in the form variety, there are a few that stand out over the rest which indicate a more specific problem, and they usually begin with, "I'm afraid I wasn't pulled into the story," or "the front bogged down," or "after a few pages, I wasn't compelled to read any further." Something to that tone, anyway. What we have here is a failure to communicate up front with that all important "hook." 


The hook is that mystical teaser, that draw that pulls the reader into the story, and it usually begins on page one, and really never lets up. You can craft a hook by using dialogue, action, narrative or even description, but the one thing it does is present a unique problem that is not answered immediately, or is a set of circumstances that confounds the reader, asking more questions that it's answering. I think a really great hook uses deceit or subterfuge. It presents a "What the hell's going on here" in the reader's mind, or a "why or how could this be happening?" Setting a good hook, I later learned, is a crafting trick--a tactic. There's nothing artistic about it. Just like a magician uses sleight of hand, so too does the writer create an unfathomable scenario that begs explanation and further reading. Of course, it's wise to take the reader up to the confusion threshold but not beyond it, where incidents and plot seem random or haphazard. There must be a method to your madness, allowing the reader to glimpse that sliver of light at the end of the tunnel. 

I can pontificate all day long about how stunning and fast-paced my second and third acts are, but when I read and interpret those pesky rejection slips, the ones that hint at boring, tepid, stuffy first-page or fist-chapter passages, I know then that I've failed in capturing my reader's attention--he/she will be reluctant to invest further reading time if I cannot CHALLENGE them to unravel a mystery or solve some problem. I've opened the door and invited them to ride along, but they're inclined to pass and let me drive off into the sunset by myself. Back-story is a killer, as is prologues, heavy, multiple character descriptions, uninspired dialogue, weather reports and heavy handed scenery that tries too hard to be literary.

I can have a dynamite query letter, but the editor or agent won't get past page five if I haven't pulled them into the story and forced them to wonder or agonize about something. The hook scene doesn't have to be complicated. (First Page--First Paragraph)--Imagine average Joe Blow pulls over in a picturesque grove of trees, gets out of his car and lights up a cigarette. He's on his way to work but has a few minutes to kill. He happens to notice a church a few hundred yards away and the church parking lot is filling to capacity. The back of the church looks to be occupied with a reception area, filled with chairs, tables, colorful streamers and a small stage. But no one is out there celebrating, meaning that the festivities must still be under way inside. He crushes out his cig butt and happens to look up, being prompted by the sound of a twig snapping in the boughs of a large tree.

He sees a woman in a full wedding gown, balanced precariously on a limb high up in the tree. The woman has a terrified look on her face; she is breathing hard and sweating profusely.

You've just set the hook. You don't have to have this guy figure out exactly what she's doing up there, but we have a pretty good idea. Or do we? We won't really know until the writer let's these two exchange dialogue. But we're not going to do that either. Joe Blow has decided, against his better judgement, to help this woman out. He can sort it out later once he gets her in his car and down the road away from the church. But when it comes time for her to confess her plight, she's evasive. He ends up being late for work, has to call in sick, then gets a phone call from his fiance, wondering if they're still on for their date that night. Now we have conflict, while still nothing has been resolved. And that's what you're doing--leading the reader along, who thinks he/she is on the main storyline highway, but are actually ending up on a lot of dirt roads. I think you get what I'm trying to say. Don't be predictable. Don't underestimate your reader. Shock and surprise.

How important is the hook? It is the most important page or pages of your entire manuscript, and that includes the query and/or synopsis. You've got one chance, one pair of editor/agent eyes to entice, to compel, to convince the reader to keep turning pages. Any lull or stoppage in the text is the mark of death, and it means your bait is inadequate, it stinks of age or it's missing entirely. Does your book really start on chapter 2? Then dump chapter 1. Is Chapter 1 a slough? Then cut and burn out everything that isn't thrusting the plot forward, arousing conflict and asking new questions. Yeah, but Chris, you should read some of these dud first pages in these bestsellers; hardly grabbers. Let those brand name authors craft their books the way they see fit; they're not hurting for readership. Study some of the debut author's works and see if you can't find those subtle hooks--those attention grabbers.

In Planet Janitor, I had a one of the worst chapter openings of all time--heavy character profiles, a boring, meaningless bar scene, no action, and a blatant "By the way, Bob" dialogue sequence that was just excruciating. My publisher suggested I write an entirely new action-paced first chapter, then follow it up with a drastically cut and revised version of the original chapter 1. It was the only way to save it. You can always do a "flash-back", which is exchanging chapter 1 for 2, but this is kind of an old trick that has been used since the printed word, and should be avoided unless there's no other way around it.

SO BAIT THAT HOOK!   

Publishing--T-Rex vs the Raptors

The T-Rex seems to be facing off against the Amazon raptors. We have the commercially published dinosaur authors coming to the defense of the Big Six way of publishing and pricing as evidenced by the recent article featuring Jodi Picoult, who claims, in so many words, that self-e-publishing is allowing way too much crap to be listed for purchase on the Internet. The self e-publishers can be likened to the more agile and numerous raptors, circling the cumbersome Big Six T-Rex, taking nasty bites out of its exposed flesh. We can remember when the T-Rex was king and ruled the high plains with authority, chasing down its prey. That was until we learned just recently that it might have been a scavenger, a view that is held today about the ultimate destiny of the large publishing syndicates. Will the Big Six be left squabbling amongst themselves over the scraps that are left by the multitudes that are rushing to purchase cheap digital books and stories?

I'm not a math whiz, nor do I have volumes of facts and figures. I can only generalize about how I feel about the subject from a personal perspective. So let's examine both sides of the coin.

T-Rex  

I  find it extremely ironic that the Big Six claim that Amazon will become a ravenous monopoly if agented pricing is not allowed. I've seen the Big Six swallow up hundreds and hundreds of independent, small and medium-sized publishers over the past 25 years, making imprints out of them or ingesting them into their lines. How dare they make such a claim about Amazon and its strategy concerning pricing and distribution. Who has been the real monopoly here? Both of my medium-sized advance-paying publishers disappeared under the Big Six umbrella over a decade ago. If that isn't gate keeping and monopolization, what is? They've taken away submission opportunities from writers, not increased them. 

At the very least, e-books require about 10% less in cost to produce, and any publisher who has the audacity to price its e-books above the cost of a normal mass-market paperback, or beyond into the $20.00 range, deserves to fail miserably. And no, I'm not self-published. I'm commercially published and have an A-list agent. This is just pure greed on their part, attempting to hold up the stagecoach and rob the public for the coveted bestsellers, penned by all those famous brand-name authors we've come to know and love. I think it smacks of extortion. If you want that popular title bad enough, you'll empty your purse or wallet, and they know that.

The Big Six and the Dinosaur authors claim that before too long the Internet book vendors will be inundated with mountains of slush, crap, trash--books and stories unfit for human consumption. Great literature will be lost, diluted in the sea of amateurish prose, and difficult to weed out. They seem to think that readers will purchase blindly and end up with this flotsam, become dissatisfied and give up on reading entirely or blame the Big Six, or demand their money back or all of it. Actually, the Big Six are shaking in their boots, aware that they are posed to lose millions, if not billions of dollars because of a much lower price threshold, coupled with the convenience of purchasing digital copy online. Print is taking serious financial hits at the present. They are also neglecting to realize that the reading public is not really that undiscriminating and can tell bad prose from good prose by peeking at the pages offered from the Look Inside Feature. They're also aware that a publisher's brand name will mean absolutely squat when it comes to book purchasing.  Low prices and convenience trump publisher's brand.

Sure, the dinosaur authors will always rally around the huge or medium advances they receive as a testimony to the validity of their publishing house. But they'll not mention the 17.5% average royalty rate they're prone to get, as opposed to the optimum 70% for the self e-published author. T-Rex publishers have got book store and distribution going for them--you have to give them that. That's because they belong in the hierarchy, and are nearly the only houses who are privy to the most prestigious review sources and listings, like Kirkus and Library Journal. Publishers Market also has a tendency to announce new books primarily from the Big Six, and such books also routinely make the the country's top bestsellers lists.  

The Raptors  

The problem with the raptors is that there's so damn so many of them and their numbers are increasing daily. Anyone in sundry can self-publish digitally nowadays, and it doesn't cost an arm and a leg. There's scores of programs and tutorials to help you format and create cover art for zero expense. Wam, bam, you're on Amazon, Ma'am. But oh my God, it's gonna be a jam! How in the name of hell are you going to bring attention to your title or titles, generate enough buzz, start a sales momentum and make some steady cash? Yeah, you hear about Rowe and Hocking and wish upon a star, believing if they can do it, then so can you. What you don't realize is how much work must go into this type of promotion and marketing campaign. It's a self-inflicted hell. And if you don't have a huge readership before you begin your self-publishing venture, you best take a few Motrin, go into a dark room, lay down and wait for these dreams avarice to pass. Seriously. You'll need a readership or fan base in place before you even get started. If you think you can play catch up and buy ads, hire a publicist, or invest in blog tours, you'll find yourself a broke, unknown writer at the speed of light. 

It doesn't stop with one book. To be successful at self-publishing digitally you'll have to have tons of books and stories, and you'll have to set up free trial periods for many or all of them, plus stagger the prices until you find their sweet spots. It's a business and you'll be monitoring it on a daily basis, plus trying to find the time to write more and more content. Hint: series work well for digital self-publishing, in a popular genre.

With more and more content comes the problem--the biggest problem of all--the EDITING problem. The faster you write and list on Amazon, the more chance you take in pasting incomprehensible slop in front of the public. If you're not an accomplished, pro editor who can handle structural, copy and proof editing, you'll have to pay for it. Editing is one of the most expensive costs in publishing. It can cost a buck a page from a friend who has experience, or five or $10 a page from a top-of-the-line contractor or service. When it's all said and done, will this book pay for itself in a year, two or five after you list it? What are you going to do about celebrity blurbs, pre-publication reviews and orders? Will you have to hire an assistant? Will you have the funds to do all of this, and risk it, knowing that you might not be compensated for your time and labor?

The good thing about the raptors is, is that the playing field has been leveled (somewhat) for the first time in the publishing industry. Books, any book, need not languish in a trunk or on their hard drive. Therein comes an amount of emotional satisfaction and accomplishment. Yeah, you can call yourself an author, since you certainly went through the moves from page one to the end. You'll reap more per book than the commercial authors, and you'll be totally in charge of every aspect of its production to its eventual sale. You will evolve into a brilliant sales person and financial wizard should you succeed. However, the odds are against you ever getting rich from this venture. It all depends on your expectations.

Whatever you decided, Good Luck!

But wait a minute, Chris. Where do you stand in all of this?

Well, the Big Six really never did anything for me. I'm not a raptor either. But I favor the little guy in this
case. 

SINCE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT DINOSAUR COMPARISONS IN RELATION TO PUBLISHING, MAY I BE SO BOLD AS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A TRICERATOPS PUBLISHER WHO PUT OUT A WONDERFUL BOOK.

  

Planet Janitor: Custodian of the Stars (Engage Science Fiction) (Illustrated) by Chris Stevenson and Toni Zhang (Kindle Edition - Jan 7, 2011) - Kindle eBook

Buy : $2.99

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HAS YOUR BOOK FLAT-LINED ON AMAZON?

Your book, story or series has flat-lined on Amazon. That means the rank is steadily climbing, which indicates no recent sales. When the rank bobs up and down over a period of days, it means you have sales activity. It's rather difficult to tell just how many sales, since a 150,000 drop can indicate only a single sale, and usually does. It does depend on the other author's books and how well they're taking off, at any given minute. If you do a fair amount of promotion and marketing every day or a few times a week, and have been doing so for months, you should see a regular roller coaster rhythm in your ranking status. For instance, for the past three months, I pretty much know where I rank on the average. My lows hit around 60,000 and then climb to about 235,000 before I see another dip. And this happens with regularity. My rough average is about 140,000 or so, give or take. You'll see much lower ranks (huge dips and higher sales) upon your book's release. Not talking about that. I'm talking about months of exposure and a consistent push campaign.  

It's also possible that you're doing really well and your rank is somewhere between 10,000 and 40,000 on a consistent basis. For those of you who are ranking better than this, like in the top 100, or even top 10, I hate you and don't want to hear about it. But for us average folks who shamelessly flog our books and hawk-eye our Amazon book page, watching a steady increase (numbers rising) in rank and drop in sales is heart-crushing. I know that we shouldn't put too much into the rank thing, but let's face, we're addicted to it and no one is going to pry us away from our stats. Thank you very much. Right now, I'm at the high end of my coaster after about four days and it's beginning to worry me. If after a week I see no sales, I'll know that I'm approaching flat line. I can give it an extra promo and marketing push, doing all my regular links, articles, blogs, display site updates and forum participation, and yet if it has no effect I know I'm in trouble. I can redouble my efforts and still see no effect, and if this goes on for more than eight to 10 days or so, then I'll know I've officially flat-lined. If I haven't done any marketing or promo during or slightly before that time, I know that my book has no sales momentum and can't carry its own without my constant help

This most probably happens when you reach a saturation point. Depending upon how many resources you use (I use about seven or eight large sites or social networks), you get to the point where you've overstayed your welcome, or more precisely, you've introduced your book to the main population and made all likely sales to interested buyers. You only have so many friends on FB and Twitter. You only have so many blog followers-subscribers. You have a fairly finite population in your groups. And if you don't charge your batteries by joining new groups and discussions, you've reached your maximum audience. Of course, there will always be new members, but for the most part, you've roped in all of your potential customers. This can happen anywhere from 30 to 60 days after your debut on Amazon. Most books are bought during this period--when all the announcements and friend purchases hit at about the same time in the early stage.

A real good example of a book that's flat-line is my paranormal romance, Gate Walker:

 http://www.amazon.com/Gate-Walker-ebook/dp/B004GHN5BY/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1336012258&sr=1-4

Gate Walker has been sitting there for years with no activity, in spite of me whipping up a huge campaign, loaded with interviews, reviews, press releases and display listings. The title and the cover art are substandard--there's a huge problem right off the bat. No reviews to speak of. And even when the publisher dropped the price to $.99 seven months ago, it still had no effect. I tried reviving it but it floundered just the same--no notice, interest or sales. That book is a true flat-liner. Nothing can resurrect it, short of pulling it from Amazon and starting all over again with new art and an captivating title. It's a shame--Gate Walker sold about 70 books and committed suicide right after the third month of its listing. It's actually a much more popular genre than my current SF book, which outsold it in one month. 

So what can you do to bring that corpse-like book back to life? Find new forums, new groups, and social sites. Add friends on Twitter and FaceBook every day, but keep your numbers down--a few members at a time adds to your little clubhouse. Have you written a romance? Join romance writing and reading groups. Same for SF and fantasy. Look for high group member populations--new people. Search the WWW--Google groups that cover your genre. You might try joining additional (general) writing groups, the one's who have large forums, thousands of threads and dozens of topics. Always follow your genre people, and look for those threads. Wherever you go, drop links to your Blog and website. Don't have a blog? Guh. Get one, make one. Pick a theme or topic and run with it, and blog frequently, at least every three days, or a every week if you're pressed for time.  List your book covers on your website and supply a blurb and reviews for each.

There are thousands of book review sites out there that will review your book for free and list it on their blog or review site. It might cost you an e-book, but it's well worth it. If the reviewer wants a print copy, just make sure their review site is legitimate and large enough to draw some serious traffic. Google lists that contain bloggers who love to interview authors. Write polite but enthusiastic letters to those hosts, explaining who you are and what topics interest you. Nine times out of ten, review and interview sites will direct the discussion around your book/s or stories.

Check out one of my older blog posts: E-Publishing on Amazon and How To Make It Work.

http://guerrillawarfareforwriters.blogspot.com/2012/03/e-publishing-with-amazon-and-how-to.html

Just remember, you can market and promote in your old sites, but if you're approaching flat-line, you'll have to go out there and find fresh faces--readers-writers who haven't met you, seen your blog, visited your website, seen your book pages, read your announcements or followed any of your links. Hint: when contributing to discussions in writers forums or in blogs, use a little levity. Yuk it up some. Writing is a deadly serious and oft time negative business, so when you can arrive on a scene and add a little humor to a topic, you'll find people gravitating toward you. You want them to Like-me-like-me-like-me!

                                       ______________________________________

Now the shameless plug. If you haven't found out what Planet Janitor is all about, forget Amazon. Check out the website and read the character profiles. A while back somebody (humorously) summed up my characters thusly: Two nerds, a boyscout, a dumb giant, a crazy bastard, a big-breasted matron, a virgin and a slut. See what you think, ha!

http://planetjanitor.com/Home.html

 

Have Metaphors and Similes--Will Travel

Similes and metaphors are literary devices that help you paint pictures and show visual images to the reader as an expression. Lots of  writers don't use them, or use them infrequently, but they can really add another dimensional depth to your prose, if done right and sparingly. Similes and metaphors can do wonders to enhance your trademark voice/style, and many of the greatest works of literature have and utilize these literary techniques. You'll often see them in works of poetry, stories and songs.

Now, a simile is used more as a comparison or approximation, and usually contains the words "like" or "as". Metaphors do not contain those words, and are more absolute in defining a subject. "The famished girl roared like a lion for an ice cream cone", would be a typical example of a simile, because it expresses a likeness or nearness. Metaphors are more of a statement or absolute, as appears in  the sentence, "The little girl is a fragile flower" or "The man was a dinosaur."

Now the trick is to place these little gems throughout your manuscript without being too obvious or over the top. "The fragile old woman flew through the shop door like a locomotive." Obviously this doesn't work since an old lady who is fragile would have a tough time flying through or to anything and, certainly, locomotives don't fly. Connect your word dots and make sure everything is in agreement and that the metaphor or simile agrees and supports a likely condition of the subject. I don't have a MFA degree in writing, but I have used some metaphors and similes to advantage and have been rewarded by some very positive comments. One example is below, and it's a bit thick with simile, but I got the tone and message across, then backed off for several pages. The thing is, if you are going to use metaphor and simile, carry it throughout the manuscript, using good balance and placement. Let it become part of your style/voice in the prose you write, and use it when it supports and really brings out a scene in 3-D imagery, affecting and heightening, if possible, multiple senses.

"She nudged the joystick, bringing the wheelchair up to the fringe of the jogging trail. Mr. Stud Cake was just making the S-turn on the path like a Standard bred pacer on the homestretch at Woodbine. She pulled the charcoal sketchpad from her side and set it on her lap. Just as the young man approached, she dropped the pad, letting it bounce twice on the grass. The handsome runner chirped to a stop, panting. He walked three steps, retrieved the pad from the grass and stepped up to the wheelchair. His eyes locked on hers for a brief moment before they panned down to her legs."

Can you spot the simile in the paragraph? Does it help you visualize the jogger and his running technique? He's kind of fast, even eloquent maybe, since the comparison is in reference to a racehorse on a track. "Mr. Stud Cake" might be seen as a metaphor, as well. Let's try another example further on in the text:

 

"It took him a while to process the insult. She could almost see the gears trying to mesh in his head, the synaptic nerves groping for contact, the tiny bulbs flickering. The guy's an off-brand computer, with a hard drive crash.  He backed away and resumed his position on the path. With a swagger, he crouched and kicked off. She watched him jog around the bend, mentally scratching him off her list. Next."

 We've made this guy an off-brand computer. He has an obvious mental defect, of course. That's a metaphor. Let's try another simile:

"The next prospect was a distant speck. Clearly, he was moving and sucking oxygen. Always a good sign. As he approached, she became aware that he was wearing an enormous, full-sleeved jogging suit. His arms flapped in spasms, kind of like a large pterodactyl trying to get airborne. His stride was crazy-legged, totally out of firing order. He appeared to run as much sideways as forward. She nearly laughed out loud but thought better of it. Instead, she felt somewhat sorry for him. It might have been his first experience at jogging. Diane was no stranger to barbs or insults. And even with a slung gut and knocked knees, wasn’t Seabiscuit hard on the eyes but chock-full of speed and heart?"

It's pretty obvious that I likened this runner to a clumsy pterodactyl, because he had a hard time trying to build up enough momentum to resume his jog. Experiment and try out a few metaphors and similes in your text. For as simple as they are, they can add a whole new tier to your writing style and imagery.  
Red-shifting otta here,

Chris

 

My Book and its Origins

This is kind of a freebie/promo post, obviously, but it also has some significance when we consider how we came up with our book ideas. I've heard people tell me that they get their ideas from their children, newspapers, movies, songs and dreams. It usually happens pretty quick. My story origins took 15 years or so before it took hold of my consciousness, and later my soul. If I had ignored any segment or facet of the plot or storyline, I doubt any of it would have come together.

Planet Janitor Custodian of the Stars did not suddenly spring forth from my forehead like Harry Potter did with J.K. Rowling. Sometimes ideas come to a writer in puzzle pieces over a long period of time. Such was the way this story gradually unfolded to me. It went something like….

I once heard an inventor friend of mine use the words, “Planet Janitor“ in describing a company he wanted to form that purified water through ionization. He thought the name had an environmentalist quality to it. That was 15 years ago. He never formed the company, but I never forgot the company name – it had a catchy, unique ring to it.

Fast-forward 15 years – I tried to come up with a Science Fiction tale that hadn’t been done before. I imagined some space travelers landing on a planet, where they ended up knee-deep in the bones of some giant alien species. The bone yard stretched for hundreds of miles in every direction.

The crew couldn’t fathom a catastrophe of such magnitude, a veritable genocide that seemed to wipe out the entire planet’s inhabitants. The most profound question amounted to what or who had caused such a global massacre. I imagined their ship was disabled upon landing, so they would eventually find out by unraveling a mysterious chain of events that would have them confront this unknown nemesis/killer. That idea stalled out for awhile.

A year later I read an article about the use of precious metals that were used in the construction of spacecraft, space stations and satellites. We’re talking about gold, silver, magnesium, aluminum, platinum and titanium. The article went on to propose that in the future, some lucky entrepreneur might be able to build a craft that could scoop up all of this wayward flotsam, and make a fortune with the reclamation. My mind wandered, thinking about asteroids that might contain precious metals, as well – kind of like a version of American Pickers IN SPACE.

It wasn’t until I put the three ideas together that I believed I had a plausible story arc. What if I had a crew who were adept at space trash salvage, but they had become so good at it that they mined rogue asteroids, and even ventured further out onto the spiral arm to visit small moons and planets. They’re notoriety would increase, and perhaps they might be hired on as private contractors to save some of Earth’s eco-systems. They would use some special skills that involved pyrotechnics, chemicals and high-tech machinery. Give them an old Russian ore freighter to scout the solar system and wahla! Those were my environmentalists – my planet janitors.

It wasn’t too far of a leap to imagine that this crew might have one last big job to perform before the captain and crew retired, since they’d obviously become quite rich, and a little famous. Then it hit me. Take them on the boldest mission ever, further out than they’d ever gone before. Take them so far out that their cyro sleep would advance the age of Earth’s inhabitants by 25 years – make their departure soul-wrenching, leaving loved ones and relatives behind.

That destination, of course, had to be the death planet I thought of upteen years ago. Blackmail the crew to get them there, sabotage their ship, give them no hope of ever returning, then assault them with the planetary killers. With no weapons, dysfunctional equipment, personality squabbles, betrayal, and dwindling resources, how could any crew manage to survive and make it back alive?

So, with that daunting plot, and in a vintage, old-school style voice and tone reminiscent of Robert Heinlein and Phillip Jose Farmer, I embarked on that journey and finished Planet Janitor Custodian of the Stars two years ago. It was the book that landed my second agent. Since then it has been rewritten and edited so many times, I get the shivers thinking about it. It sold to Engage Books of Vancouver, Canada, to a wonderful publisher/editor/friend of mine, Alexis. They spared no expense in the layout and format, including 26 interior illustrations and a custom-painted full color wrap-around lithograph cover.

I often think of PJ as a cross between Starship Troopers and Robinson Crusoe on mars. I’ve written 17 other books besides PJ, but for some reason this one will remain very near and dear to my heart. I was inspired in the very beginning of my writing career by the late, great Poul Anderson, who became my mentor. I also took many lessons from Alan Dean Foster, and remain a friend and admirer of his to this day.

Planet Janitor is available at Amazon, in hardback and Kindle editions. The Kindle price has been reduced to $2.99! The trade paperback edition will soon be released.

Planet Janitor also has its own website, courtesy of Engage Science Fiction: http://planetjanitor.com/Home.html

I can be reached at: Stevenson_333@msn.com

Are You Ready to Self-Publish?

I'm sure we've all seen the miraculous success stories in the e-publishing world, particularly at Amazon, and to a lesser extent, the other major online publishers. There's a heck of a lot of claims and names being dropped; lists of those who have sold or sell thousands of copies per month. Many of these writers have gone from rags to riches, as can be attested to by their popular blog posts and threads in the large writing groups. I admit that I've seen them, listened to their reasoning, tabulated their facts and figures, and come away from it scratching my head, but also feeling very envious of their sales and popularity. In spite of the naysayers, we are experiencing a revolution of sorts in the publishing industry, and the concept of self-publishing has racked up some pretty good credits and figures. It seems everyone who has failed to sell the conventional route or has just started out, are diving into this lucrative pool.  Even brand-name authors are jumping on this wagon with both feet and landing squarely.

I don't know about others, but I've had just as much difficulty and workload promoting and marketing my trade publisher's e-books, since they are now in direct competition with this flood of new initiates and entrepreneurs. Of course I'm reminded that I'm not pulling 70% royalty fees like they are. And I'm reminded of it every day. And maybe that's where the dollar signs are beginning to fog my judgement. It seems we never hear of the abject failures from those who have made this dive and come up with nada, or very little in the way of sales and readership. Oh, I've been tempted, all right. I've already set up relations with writers who will format me and supply cover art--for a pretty coin, or even a deal that I can stomach. But you've got to ask yourself a bank of questions before considering this publishing option.

Are you ready to expend cold, hard cash to have your books or stories formatted, edited and supplied with cover art, if you don't have this skill? Realize that you will be required to make this cost outlay right up front, without knowing if your book or story will ever sell. To anybody. If you're on a strict budget at the present, and this cost could sabotage your monthly payments, you would be wise to back off and wait until you have the capital.

Are you willing to be honest with yourself and claim that your book or story has gone through a vigorous structural, content and proof-reading stage, so that it appears professional, clean and easy to read? Or are you intent to risk ridicule and bad reviews, because YOU believe your words have been trimmed and polished and that the reader will not likely care or gloss over those types of mistakes? You're fooling yourself and cheating your reader if you think that publishing those pixels are going to, first and foremost, bring in gobs of cash in spite of the low quality, misspellings, goofs and errors. I can tell you that my trade publishers expended untold hours of editing that lasted months for each of my books. I don't have this editing concern.

Are you willing to expend 40 hours or more a week to a constant and unswerving promotion and marketing campaign? Creating your own buzz is hard enough, even when you have a publisher behind you doing everything in their power to get the word out and boost sales. If you self-publish, YOU are the publisher, the publicity manager, sales force, marketing manager, mail room lackey, and overall sales person. It all rides on you. How long do you think you can keep that up without pulling your hair out, and then researching new ways to create buzz after you experience several failures and dead-end roads? Oh, yeah, you'll have to adapt and research every day to find new markets and strategies, once you've exhausted your pool or worn out your welcome. You'll become a spam-bot, as I've nearly done, or have done. Then your popularity will decrease. For those of you on Broadband with limited gig usage, you'll have to watch your monthly tallies to make sure you don't run over your allotted usage.  You'll be googling and clicking on more websites than Carter has pills.

Are you ready for cutthroat competition? You won't be alone out there. You'll be in a sea of millions of writer/authors who have the same mind-set you do--sell thousands of copies to the general reading public. One of two things will happen: either you will start off with a bang and gain an impressive readership and sales, then find an increasing momentum, or you will be lost in that sea of millions of books or stories, and experience lackluster sales or no sales at all. Then panic will set in and you'll be forced to stoop or adopt to chicanery or some fly-by-night method of advertising, promoting and marketing that might not be aboveboard. Desperation drives many to think up new schemes and ideas on how to get their book or story front row and center. The display sites are full of self-publishers, all of them jockeying for position.

Are you ready to undercut your competition's prices? And I do mean slash and burn. If everyone decides to beat the competition by lowering their books to $.99, then the playing field has been leveled and there's nothing you'll be able to do about it. You'll exist in a sea of millions of $.99-cent e-books. Once the typical reader understands that these $.99-cent books are primarily put out by self-publishers, they'll become aware of the quality issues associated with them and give them the pass, which is already starting to happen.

If you decide to self-publish e-books or digital shorts, make sure you know what you're getting into--that means all ducks in a row. If you have a non-fiction book that appeals to a large niche audience, let it fly. Your chances of success with NF are far greater than fiction. How popular is your genre right now? Does it stand a good chance for sales? Just me, but I would not e-publish a collection of short stories unless I had a built-in readership. I would not e-publish an autobiography or a memoir, or poetry. Horror and westerns are not real popular, so think twice about them. Romance, erotica, fantasy, YA, some SF, and thrillers seem to hold their own and do very well.

Whatever you decide, be prepared for a long and arduous journey with self e-publishing. It won't be easy. Perhaps one day, we'll be reading about you on that top 1,000 list--a writer who went from rags to riches.

     

The Small Press Stigma

I'm pretty damn sure we all desire publication with one of the Big Six giants, anticipating all the bells and whistles that go with it. I'm talking about nice advances, distribution and book store placement, as the greatest benefits. Fame, friends and eight-by-tens naturally follow, to some degree or another. It usually takes an agent to get to that threshold, so if you're having dreams of avarice, start your search for an agent now. Some of us, who've had an agent or multiple agents, and have been at this writing gig for years or decades, might still be on the want for such a contract. Although, I can truly say that I did have big publication 20 or more years ago, and did catch my share of limelight. It was only until I picked back up on writing again seven years ago that I desired that once notorious position--you know the one that claims you're only a real writer if you publish with one of the big NYC houses. Or one of the out-of-state independents who furnish the same nice advances, distribution and book store placement.

Instead, here I am, and maybe you too, published with some small press outfit that offers POD (print on demand) or e-book format, or a combo of both. Dawg knows we're trying, and often seeing our friends and peers make that NYC publishing leap without us. We cheer them on from the sidelines, but at our core, we're crying, feeling defeated and left out. We're not real writers. We don't get that advance, distribution or book store placement. We might sell 75 to 200 books in a year, whereas our successful  friends (the real writers) are selling 7,500 to 20,000 copies or much more. We don't get get the same trade reviews and hype they do. We certainly don't get the same respect or notoriety. Even agents can take a very dim view on an author who has published with a POD house, and who shows double digit sales. However, there are those writers out there that are perfectly happy with small press publication, and feel it is a great accomplishment--and so it is. For those who strive for more, it's not nearly enough after the initial shine has worn off.

I'm beginning to think that I'm one of the kings of small press. I've torn up or refused more small press contracts than I've signed. Nine rejected and five published. You can do the math. The problem going with small press time after time, is that you begin to realize that you're on a dirt road to nowhere. It might take you six months to a year to write, edit and polish a manuscript. Then when it's bought and hits the sales rack (virtual sales rack, mostly), your compensation amounts to less than a hundred dollars, or more if you're lucky and have a popular genre and a great story. If you've come out in trade paperback, you've probably participated in the conference route or book-signing adventure, where you might have sold a dozen copies or so. You've wasted shoe leather, spent money on ads, promo materials like book marks, posters and banners, and driven qawd- awful distances, which cost you a pretty penny in gas and time. You might have taken out expensive ads in slick magazines or local newspapers. You've probably donated copies to your local library--they certainly won't order it because they never saw you listed in Kirkus or the Library Journal.

So, it is a stigma, isn't it? About the only thing that small press can teach you is how to edit via track changes, how to promote your ass off and hawk-eye your Amazon rank every day, unless you have a publisher who only sells from their website (then you're in real trouble).

Then we have the other side of the coin. Some of the best editors are in the small press field, either as house editors or professional contractors. So you do have that going for you, especially if multiple editors are involved, content/structural/proof types. Chances are your story will be the better for it after going through a gauntlet of small press eyes. You can learn about the insides of the industry and how long it takes a book to materialize from the printed word until it reaches a bunch of printed words slapped between a glossy cover. You'll have a book that your friends and family can purchase, read and enjoy. So it's not all bad.

But there comes a time to turn mother's picture to the wall, figuratively speaking, and get the hell out of small press. If you haven't got an agent, get one. Hold out for an agent who reps the type of book you write, and has real sales to back it up. This is, of course, if you are unhappy with where you're at in your career. You might have a small press series or trilogy bringing in some major attention and sales. Stay if you feel comfortable. But if you're not kicking up your heels, make that major move to an agent who can help you make that major, recognized sale. Although we don't like to admit it, realize that small press is looked upon as the minor leagues. If you've learned everything you can from these publishers, and seem to be stuck in a rut, move on.

Are small press books looked upon as professional credits? Here there be dragons, as far as an answer. Most agents I've talked to believe that small press publication is an award or minor professional accomplishment. There are some who adamantly revile them. Honestly, when have you ever heard of an agent submitting to a royalty-only paying small POD press? It just doesn't happen. In a best case scenario, you can always hold out for the best small press deal you can get, or hit the brass ring of small press. For e-books, Elloras Cave and Samhein come to mind, for instance. You'll have to search diligently. There are small press POD outfits out there that pay anywhere from a $100 to $2,500 advance. I've been on the receiving end of such offers. So it's not impossible.

Consider small press publishing as a trial and learning experience. You are the only one who knows when it's time to graduate. Don't languish in small press just because it makes you feel good to have that book in your hand, or your appearance on your own Amazon, Kobo, or B&N pages. Make the move before that stigma becomes a deadbeat millstone around your neck. I've made the move. The only thing I have to do now is let my agent handle it and write better books.

But I will say this, never, ever let anyone tell you that you're not a real writer because you've published with small press. It can actually be more difficult to be accepted in some of the best small press out there. You did something very right and have come a long ways. Learn your craft and keep improving.

NOW IN DEFENSE OF THE PRODUCTION QUALITY OF SMALL PRESS, LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO PLANET JANITOR. SEE BELOW:

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